strange/anything but ordinary

2007-10-05T03:34:00.000-07:00

www.xanga.com/redlightsyndrome

:)

GO!GO!
I'VE OFFICIALLY MOVED:D

yes you

2007-10-04T06:51:00.000-07:00

I ain got no reason.

Person A:Yes now its you<3
Person B:Haha u made me high,but u still suck.
Person C:You are missing in action.
Person D:I miss you,quite terribly):

-I WANNA LOVE YOU THIS WAY,

fuck it is

2007-10-03T03:26:00.001-07:00

Clearing some mental space it is,

Yea this is the final and last time im saying this.I guess its of no use afterall.
You know that aswell.Sometimes i just try to stay away from this mess,but i cant.
Yes it WAS alright all this long,but now it isnt.Im sick and tired.I feel bad for yea acting like a bitch all this while.But really i just cant stand this feeling no more.Yes,so no more.I'll try my best to not think of it.1.5?haha..

Sch as usual what wld we do.
So yea just crapped and all thaat
w w w!!! Pimmala jessie ling and soniaaa!
Yes they are cool.
Haha.
Then went compass w Tse,Gan,pim & sarah.
Cause soniaa cldnt come for some reason.
Yes then sarah left for tution.
So left w me Tse jovee and pims.
Oh oh. yEAH.
Jessica and her two friendly friends aswell.
Haha..
Super sociable i tell you.
Yes then walked around crapped around
then took the train back down to serangn.
Yup!
So here i am hma swweeet home.

Person A:ur irreplaceable<3
Person B:U suck.
Person C:I dunno what to say.But u kinda drive me up the wall at times.ohh well.
Person D:Your weird,very diff now.Good or bad? You decide.

-

But it's been heavy on my mind for months now.
Guess I'm trying to clear some mental space.
*

You probably always,have a spell on me.

2007-10-02T04:57:00.000-07:00

Our only fun i suppose?:D

It was just pure dumb to bring ppl like us to little idia.I mean the way we behaved is just..Oh well atleast we had sometime to spend together except for those asses i swear.Bloody hell man.Yes,your face make sme wanna puke.HAH.Too bad):

After sch was bit madd cos of some issue.Yes i man the real mad.Ya gd u accept it i swear.Its wasnt easy to write that for you.Oh well,yea then after that went Hougang mall to eat at the pudding and all that stall.Yes the only way to get me back to normal.Things i love.That includes ppl i love aswell.And yes ppl love!eevoj,est,haras
&charls just make me happy:DYes but i din see charls ohh man.So obviously cldnt be mad anymore.I mean really ah.No matter in what situation you ppl can just help.SOMEHOW.HAH.Even if im damn mad or sad whatever.Okok enough.Im int he very good mood now.Dont ask me why.Its cause im feeling kinda low.Cause of some stuff.Hmm.
Ohh well guess it doesnt matter anymore?u think? you wish ah.It does and for thaat i feel like screwing a screw into my wooden head.I mean i know im crapping.But yes its meant to be like this so that you bitches wont understand.Urghh this is dumb,crazy and simply unfair.I mean whyth was i like thaaat.Hais.A real bitch,hardcore.
Tsk,im just disappointed now.

TSE:Haha ya la,OOHKAY! you can chill now.
JOVEE:OOOookay!Guess shes right but you know maybe barbie is just not the word!:D

If im the star,she is the sky.

2007-10-01T02:56:00.000-07:00

THEE FAIR,w the crazy & lovable ppl<3

Aftermath of the fair at macs:D

-

I hate that i love you so,

I hate how much i love you girl,

2007-09-27T05:00:00.000-07:00

Yest out with cass's friend,

Prepartion for AGAAAPE`!

Yes all wet,but with an umbrella can u believe!

Yes the rainplayerz:D

CAN I NOT LIKE YOU FOR AWHILE

You got me feeling like a child now,

2007-09-25T04:53:00.000-07:00

Cause everytime i see your bubbly face,i get tinglies in a silly place.

Sch was just dumb & crazy today.
What you expect?
The whole day MT you know?
The first half was tamil.
Oh gosh best we din even know
we had presentation today.
Okay just our grp ofcourse.
Haiyerr we dont really care,
and its not like we need lotsa rehearsals.
We are not like some slow ppl.
Btw i think ours was like the sec best performance.
Hahaha..
Yes then after sch went PS
help buy class banner at spotlight.
Yes PS i love you ALOT!
Duh you help me in almost every way!
Haha.
PS do you hear me?!
Well anws was happy cause i manage to get
my cinnamon sugar.
Wetn high at mac cafe`.
Cause of the stupid musci playing.
Yeah then
took bus back.
Haha.
Ganney!
Stop s-t-e-a-d-i-n-g
PLS!
Hahaha...
Ok la up to you laaaa.

tAG
Jovee:Haha yes yes we ARE:D

You know i love you so<3

yes u suck.

2007-09-24T04:30:00.000-07:00

I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time i see your bubbly face
i get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under the covers stayin dry and warm
you give me feelins that i adore

C: It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

B: What am i gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........
I?ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
Im comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time
Holdin me tight

Sch as usual was fun,crazy and fucked.
Yes im kinda pissed with you.
Who the hell are you tryina be .
A fucking loser.
Stop pls stop acting like a fucktard.
Stop being a fuck in my ass.
No matter how i try to chill
i jus fume more and more.
Everytime i see your damn bloody loserfied
what everyone calls FACE,
gosh i guess i need to control my anger.
Wth la.
Not like u make a diff in my life or anything
but seriously you just simply piss me off.
You fake fucktard piece of shit.
Tsk tsk,
you seriously need HELP babe.
Cmon who are u trying to beat?
Yourself?
Think abt it im sure its harder
now cos ur not being urself.
And i mean seriously.
Whats witht he everything and the oh-so-mean face.
tsk you!
Terrible! terrible! terrible!

After sch was crazy i swear.
Haha saw oehs yea,
then took 113 to kovan then took mrt
to Houngang mall.
Over there,
went macs.
Then bitched bitched,and nth but bitch w
my bitch aka teletubbie.
Yes gosh we really do
literally STUDY ppl's character.
Hmm..
Yup then took bus back.
Saw traci at the intrchnge.
Since it was bloodu hot decided to take
105 hme w traci.
Yup thts bout it.

You give me feelings i adore<3

yes i am a frog:D

2007-09-22T01:55:00.000-07:00

HELL YEAH,THE PPL WHO MADE IT HAPPEN:D

OMG YESTD WAS JUST FUN FUN & NTH BUT FUN!
Damn FUN MAN.
WE WERE HIGH MACHINES FOR LIKE WHAT 4 HOURS.
Then the last two hours we were
like some poor homeless kids pls.
We were exhausted and farnished.
We were STARVING.
And that popcorn chicken ms pirera gave us
shldnt be given in the first place.
Its made thigns worst,haha.
PLUS we were shivering.
It wass soo damn bloody cold tht me and huang had to hide
under the table in the lab.
aha.
So deprived-looking.
Haha..
Yes but atleast it was SUCCESS RIGHT!:D
Haha,
lucky we din go to east coast man.
WE WILL LOOK LIKE LOST CHILDREN.
Yup.Then after that
i took a bus hme.
Met sharon and est and the bus stop
then est went Dinner w Gan,brenda & charls.
I cldnt go cos i had plans.
Yea so took 45 back with sharon.
Yeah.

Oh yes im SRAHD AND I HAVE FRENDS LIKE EST.EEVOJ & GNAUH!
SAY WOW.
Alrighht.
WE RAE RATHER INNOVATIVE DURING INNOVATION WEEK &
I TEND TO LOOK LIKE A FROG:D

-BYE BITCHES

You got me on my knees,

2007-09-20T04:46:00.000-07:00

TODAY:

My old sch hallway:D ya right go guess where luh.Bet u cant:p

The ppl who can go higher than BALLOONS<3

Yup they put this sign up at times.Cause of us,we were sitting&best travizz
showed tantrum:D

NOW SIT BACK AND RELAX THE GANNEY PICS!:D

Standard hairstyle mann.I guess most of us when we were young>Bangs,long hair super straight.Hah,

Yes u and ur beloved GODSISXX who din know she was gna be a LIAN:D

EFFING CUTE LITTLE THING<3

JOVEE GAN IS BORN WITH THE ATTITUDE MAN.

Ahhh gagagagaga sooo cutee!:D Jovee gan has never changed.lol

Today nth much happened.
The whole stupid talk abt the whole filming thing
was a waste of my time,
a pain for my poor butt,
and a toture for my surprisingly tolerant ears today!
Fuck mann.
Wth u vall urself a freaking tcher.
Just go screw urself la.
Okay a few weird things happened.
Yep,as usual cmon its sch what mre can i expect?
After sch went opp to eat maggi mee w gan and sarah.
Met a whole bunch of 2.3lites there:D
Then yea sat & ate together.
Ans then as usual this person called
Jovee Gan Hwee Min
had a beeeg hole in her mouth tht
she cldnt even eat her ice cream properly,tsk.
Haha..
And then somthing..
happened and it made me and gan DAMN drunk.
It was a pic of US.
Haha..
A failure jumping picture.
HELL YEA,WE LOOKED LIKE FROGSS D:
LOL.
Terrible!
Then when iw ent back to sch to meet Cass
and get my back i scared ppl away
cosa my higness.
Yes im ur highness.
yayness,
Eee this is soo ness-fies.
Reminds me of the log-ness monster thing.
Haha..
Omg i am in lee huang's stomach.

Yep then went to PS w Cass est!(go guess)
Dont ask why la.
But i have become a Ps cum hougang mall kid.
Sudden craving for Auntie Anne's cinnamon sugar
So went to ps.
Second, got bored and sick of it
went to hougang mall.
There ate mango pudding.
And cass was laughingg and laughing,
yes what that auntie and i jus seem so you know
"related" SOMEHOW.
Yes i ahve a friend at 'made w love'
She sells me the best cupcakes.
BUT,i dunno her name.
K i go find out.
Haha..
yes my job right now is officially
stalking.
I go arnd stalking ppl i KNOW!
And im called Hsrahd=shrad aka stalker no.2:D
Orite,ohgay,aight & ALRIGHT.
I WANT TO GO ..
ERM YEA STALK!
Oh i love my new version of
hey there delilah<3whoo.

-BYE

I smile you say i,okay.

2007-09-18T03:05:00.000-07:00

Vell i kan onlee uplodeee
dee peecturesst awff jaavee gAn
ven iee half dee tiame.
Vokaee? Yeu betta get vaart i yam
sayeen.
Eve nart yeu vill getta a slahp.
Yeu no? Dee slahp?
Arhh yiess.
Darnt bee arn arseholee and
arskk vaart lunguage i yam speeekin.
Heihei:/

Weiixx ii cann oli uploaddx de
picxz of jovee ganxxz wen i haf de time.
Ohkaysh? Euu betta get wat i am sayingg.
If norttxz euu wiill get de slap.
Euu norxx? de slap?
Arhhss yaaxx.
Duntt bee a assholexzx n askx wat
langauge im talking.
Lolx XD

Erm well,erm i can onley like upload the
pictures of like jovee gan like when i have the
time like.
Okayy?!
You like betterrr like understand like what
i'm sayin.
If not you will like get s slap.
You know right? The slap kina thin?
Ahh like yeahh.
&pls donnot be a total asshole and like
ask me whurrt language im like speaking in.
ahahaha!=)

Gosh i toook like 3 mins typing the first.
2 typing the second.
And 1 typing the third.
I'll just repeat again.
Just so you understand.

Well, i can only upload the pics of jovee gan
when i have the time.
Okay?
You better understand what i am saying.
Otherwise you will get a slap.
You know? The slap?
Ahh yea.
Don be an ass and ask what language im speaking in.
Haha:D

Ohkay bout today.
The whole day MT .
I thought i was gna rott and die on the spot.
But nooo!
I amm soo ALIVE:D
Cause it was freaking fun pls.
Haha i got high myself just imagine.
The way i write those words.
I tell you like so damn pro luh.
But the way the words look.
UHHH HUHHH.
Nononono.
Not gd!
Haha sucks pls,
but yea i had a great time:D
VANI YOU ARE MADD.
AND I GOT MADD ASWELL COSA YOU.
Haha..
Its just amazing how i cld actually
converse with vani luh.
Goshh.
Yup yup.
Then after sch went to compass with Sarah to the chang.
As we were early we cld pick and choose the spot we cld
sit at macs:D
Cause SJC hasnt ended sch yet then.
Then soon ohh gosh the crowd came streaming in one by one.
Yeahh i just realised soemthing today.
Its best i keep my mouth shut bout it:|
UHuh my lips are so sealed.
Yeah then i bought cheeseey wafflleoo!
Nice.
Haha then me & chang started talking bout
sch.Bout the ppl who look mean but are nice.
Like me!
Haha..
Kidding.
Hey but seriously mann.
Im nice.
But actually i don really look mean what.
Hmm..
whatever.
Morning assembly makes me laugh becos
of this SOMEBODY i swear.
Her conversations are just amusing.
Like what almost every morning man.
She just hass got tons of things to say
to her friend.
Tsk,not bad very energetic heh?
This whole enrichment s****.
Thank you and buhbye.

-I realised something else today aswell.
But this timee it will be revealed.
Reallll SOOON:D

CAMWHOREEEE(:

2007-09-17T05:02:00.000-07:00

Haha,we were deprived mann.
Penelopees and Sarahs never come today.
So we obviously had to entertain ourselves:D
And yea we went high cosa that.
Omg,haha..
Today was a ultimate day,somehow.
Hmmm..
though i din see Ec much still
went high and had fun.
Ohkay this goes to show tht..
haha..nvm.
Then after sch went to ganney's hse!
HAHA.YOUR HOUSE IS COOL LUH:D
LOVE THE ROOM!
BEST PLACE TO CAMWHORE.
YEP.
The pics were taken in her room,(except for the ones int he toilet luh ofcourse)
Yeahh.
ALrighttss !
WAIT WAIT.
TMR I WILL UPLOAD GANNEY'S LIFE!:D
HAHA GOGO GO GUESS HOW.
TILL THEN IM off!

Yes you do,

2007-09-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

But sometimes,
Somehow you drive me up the wall FULLSTOP

what if i say, now?

2007-09-14T04:19:00.000-07:00

I love this!Duh:D

Guess the pics speaks it all.
Yea went to PS had to buy a few things.
Yep then went crazy.
Was pink panther-ing all the way.
Till travizzzz brought us to her "secret"
place.
Then yea i became a Lizard.
As in the ones that crawl,yeah.
Yup.
Then this Gans and Travzz were shouting out
to loners if they wanted to be our friends?!!
Haha damn hilarious.
And guess what happened.
I was damn embarrassed.
And it had to be infront of a gay.
Cause we went to with love then i bought
this very pretty looking cupcake.
Then the stupid lady there din even have a 10 cent to return me.
So she gave me a receipt then ask me to pay at the cashier.
And me the smartass as always,
i crushed the receipt.
Then the gay was like erm where's the receipt?
Then i huh?for a min.
Then i rmb and said ohh yea.
Them took out this digustingly crushed receipt and handed to him.
Guess what his reaction was.
Cmon he's gay!
How else do you expect it to be?
Haha..
He was like"oooeehh,erm its not supposed to be crumpled actually,
erm oh well,its alright."
Then he started giggling.
OMFG.
Me and sarah clnt stop lauhging i swear.
Lucky nobody behind us.
But the ppl arnd were laughing.
EH YOU!
LAUGHING AT ME OR
THE GAY?
tsktsktsk,
Yup then loadsa hilarious things happened.
But all in all it was LOVE<3
It doesnt even feel like a friday to me.
Seems like a monday.
Ohh wells.

-if i cld have the chance to walk with ya`,

It ends now.

2007-09-12T22:32:00.000-07:00

Yes,

Ohkay this is it.
Am seeing the doc later in the evening.
To ask if im fit to go back to SCH<3 tmr.
Haha..
Yes damn,yes i love sch and i miss it like fuck.
Yes i meant the sch.
The building.
I miss the 4th floor toilet the most.
I miss the mirror i miss the bench
and ofcourse the place where my ex loves the most.
THE CANTEEN!
whoo,NICE.
Yup yup i really wish i can return tmr.
But i don want those who have not gotten
chicken pox to get cause of me.
You know the guilty kind off feeling.
I dont want to feel tht way.
So, whatever it is.
ITS BEST that i return completely recovered.
Ahhh but tmr get to see STARS OMG.
And if i dont go i will not get that badge for NP.
Ohh mann this stinks worst than dead rat.
Oh wellsss.
We'll see how.

Penelope:!Haha thanks yous!Yeah man im hoping to aswell:D

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

its back to you now,

2007-09-12T03:14:00.000-07:00

Ohhh,
I miss Jovee Gan Hwee Min.
I miss Chan Lee Huang.
I miss Sarah Chang.
I miss Penelope Tohh.
I miss Brenda Ng xue yi.
I miss Shakila Feroz Khan.
I miss Amanda Teo.
I miss Elizabeth Alexandra Mak.
I miss Cassandra Tse.

& Hell yes, I miss you too!
Duh.
Not seeing you for one week is like ahhhh.
Haha...

See laa ,
see how many ppl i miss
and how troubled i am cause of this.
See for urself chicken pox.
Why wont you just G.O GOO!

Dharshess:OH HI!GLAD U FOUND MY BLOG!(:
ZZZZ :Haha hilarious crappy friend:D
Mander :uh yeah okay,i think u shld talk to my chicken pox luh.

2007-09-11T23:22:00.001-07:00

&HELLO:D

2007-09-11T23:21:00.000-07:00

hey

2007-09-11T23:20:00.000-07:00

HELLO

2007-09-10T01:59:00.000-07:00

WELCOME TO THEEE SELF-DESTROYED BLOG.
HECK IT.
THIS IS DUMB.
I THINK BLOGGER IS INSANE(:
SO I MADE IT WORST.
SAY WOW_|_
Searching for a better skin meanwhile.
Now im tired will continue the searchh
tmr.

-

I think you just drove me madd.
You stooopid panadol.
nvm u still help somehow.
RAAHHH IM A DRUG ADDICT.

Its real love that you dont know about

2007-09-09T22:48:00.000-07:00

Real Love:

Girl, girl I'm goin outta my mind
And even though I don't really know you
I must've been runnin outta time
I'm waiting for the moment I can show you
And baby girl I want you to know
I"m watching you go
I'm watching you pass me by
It's real love that you don't know about

Hoho.
Im just gg abit gaag over this song right now.
Okay staying at home suckkksss la.
Cause im not alone.
DAAARNNNNIT.
Haha..
Okay and yea i lost a few kilos,iguess(:
Ohh i love cheese.
Cool food.
I love plain water healthy drink.
I lovee loong beauty sleeps,good rest.
Ohh and yea.
I feel that i have grown.
As in physically.
Hah.
Reaalllleey.
Alrightt luh.
I wanna go back to sch mmaan.
I miss those retards):
Ohh whatever.
Time for meedd now.
Whoo med i love the way you make me feeeel(:
Though i can be a real crazy shiat.
Okay yea i got high by bruce almighty yesterday.
I was mightying here mightying there.
Heesss.
Yess im a snake now.
Just now i was a panther.
But a red panther cause pink is too err.
Okayyyyyss
BYE!

HAPPY PILLsss HERE I COME((:

(:

2007-09-08T01:35:00.001-07:00

Don be scared its just what medication does to me(;

Im home alone once again.
Yea sadly.
Cant goo out.
Omg im stuck between four walls.
Will be missing the first week of term one.
Ohh well oh well.
OHMMMGG!
ONCE I RECOVER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!
SOMEONE FOLLOW ME GO WATCH ratatouile!
Okay maybe by then u wld have already watch.
Ohh well.
Ok what i have been eating thw past few days.
Cool!I have been a vegetarian all along.
Omg noo fats!Haha..
however still fat la.
But cant exercise what.
Give mee tiimmmee i will lose all
these belly irritating stuff off my body((:
My previous post was just out of anger so yea.
I've got nth to worry abt anymore.
Haha i just wanna live a day at a time like
Chan Lee Huang.
I rmb how me and sarah c were talking abt charls
living a day at a time at PS food court.Haha..
Ok cut the crap.
My only high boost is my lovelly koko crunch!
Ok i know i know its sooo fattening but i don really care.
Like i said i wanna live a day at a time.
Hees.
So right now im only gna care bout today.
Let tmr take GOOD care of itself(:
I have been having weird dreams like what twice daily!
Cause i slp during the night & during the noon.
Ohhh gaawwwdd.
I sleep early at night cause of the med(drowsy la)
Then i wake up at 1 to take med again.
Then i wake up at 7 again to take med.
Then ofcourse i officially wake up at 11 and take med.
Whoo fun life eh!
YOU THINK????
Haha..
Alrighhhtt.
I gotta go get my beauty sleeeeeppp.

SO
-BYE ASSHOLES!

I dont want the world to see me,

2007-09-05T21:24:00.000-07:00

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.

I always knew.
It wldnt make a diff.
I know now,it isnt making a diff.
Tmr i'll know tht it doesnt make a diff.
And soon i'll realise,
it will never make a diff.

R I G H T N O W
I F E E L L O U S Y.
S O , B Y E

-

Feeling a little better now.Just now i cldnt even see the keyboard properly.Ohh weel the body ache is killing me.As usual only i know and feel what im going thru.Right now.I wish i cld tell someone all these.But she's just a fucking bitch.Eh, bitch you have changed a lot.And i cant stand it.Not like ur affecting my life in any way or
anything.But you are seriously haunting.And it frustrtates me.YOU made me into this
stupiduglyfatsickeningirritatingsuckymiserablemoodswinging bitch.YOU made my life in 2006 miserablee.Cause of all tht.I changed, changed into this super mean and selfish
bitch whom everyone hates.Some hardcore bitch which can never be tolerated.Asickening bitch which is growing into a sadist.Or maybe its not cause of you.Maybe its just me.Maybe i made my self like that.Wtf was all tht shitty slitting of wrist for?I feel super dumb stupid and assholic for that right nowi swear.
I have stopped.Im proud of myself for tht?Oh well,Life isnt the bitch afterall.
Its just me.I never was a good person.Im just dumb.But i wasnt born dumb.I was an average child,still not all tht brainy.But soon i dropped.I dropped cause i cldnt face life's challenges.I cldnt face myself.I cldnt except what life was giving me.
And i never knew what iw as turning into.My family hates me.I know that.They soemtimes feel i never was born into their family.Or rather soemtimes i myself feel that im not worth all their love and affection,i feel that iw as born extra.I feel that maybe i was adopted.I feel that all these love and care might just be fake.
I know that they prefer you to me.I know they never liked me.Even the kids.They prefer you to me.All tht was said is still running thru this stupid head.You said children know where the real love comes from.So they are rather attached to tht person.Oh thank you.Thank you all so very much for everything.So me?Im the one who is preventing all of you from coming here tmr right?Its cause of me all of you cant come tmr right?Cause of this fucking thing tht u have passed to me im having it
so which fuck is to be blamed?So yea its just.Yeah maybe what Mrs R said was true afterall.Yes ma'am i am playing a fool around.Yes i am.Im not serious about life.Thats why i receive such results.Just as happiness was nearing all this constipated shit gotta fuck up right?Just as i was trying to change all this
discomforting words gotta be said right?All you ppl out there.Be happy with what you've got.There are thousands of asses below you.And im one in that thousands.
Yes i have let you down.But did i mean to do it?Yes!Cause why?Iam stupid,playful and never serious about life.I cant go out.Whenever i do,i feel lousy. I feel fat when i look at slimmer and close to perfect looking ppl.I feel like i don belong here.
I laugh to hide my pain when i receive fucked up results.And hell yeah I AM PLAYING A FOOL AROUND.Yes i do shout vulgar.Cause im not a good person.I swear like a million times in a day.Hell yea im not a gd influence.I give up soo much,and hell yeah i deserved to be called a sucker.I try my best to get what i want.Hell yea im not serious about life.
Having mood swings lately.And guess im the first shit to cry when i knew i had chicken pox.I hate the way i am right now.I am growing into this emotional piece of fuck for the slightest thing.Hell yea im a useless piece of shit.Is it because i cant control my emotions?Why cant i.I did it all along.WHy cant i do it now?WHat is becoming of me?What am i growing into?I wish i cld get ans for allt these.
Why am i not the strong old Dharsh tht i was.I wanna change but why do i feel tht its too late?! When hell, im only 14.Why do i have to make the toughest decisions in life all on my own?Why am i such a loner.Sometimes i feel invisible.Its not their fault.Its mine.I have one of the most bestest friends int he world.Why dont i know how to treasure them.What more do i want?What more can i have?What more can i grwo into.In P5 i get scolding during math class for almost everything.Why wasnt i serious then? If i ahd been serious i wldnt be a failure in math now.Just as i started to like math i failed it.Its exactly how i feel in this life of what i call mine? Just as i was starting to enjoy life. I failed in life.I failed as a student,as a friend as a fucking member part of this oh=so-perfect family.I just simply failed.I cant chase my dreams anymore.I feel its the end.I cant tolerate this anymore i just want to end.I dont want the world to see me.I know that theyd never understand.I don want to be pitied cause i know my ego is rising.I dont to be ignored cause i know my falling.I dont want many things i can just name them as i go.
But the things i want are nothing.Cause negative is what i am.
I'll never be a good person.Don blame me its how i am.I'll never feel alright
cause i know i'll never be alrigght.
Just as i thought i cld find joy atleast in sch.
I gotta get such grades and we'll have to part.
I've never loved a bunch of morons this much before.
And it feels like a needle poking thru my heart.
No matter how i know things will never be the sameNoone can make me a better person.
The only thing left i have to hate other than my past.
Is me.

cause ur the fucking love_|_

2007-09-05T04:46:00.000-07:00

Speak for yourself,

Went there for what?Does this have anythinggg to do w civil defence force??tsk,

Yea woke up at 6 30 sharp just to get my
ass to sch for Np civil defence course!
Ohh the name alrd can bore you.
But hey, its wasn't thaaaat bad.
Infact quite fun.
Hah.
I justtt love names startin w the letter S.
Haha go guess go go,
bet ya'll cant.
Trust me its not one you think it is(:
Whooohoo!
Haha ok im just abit insane right now.
Bet the next min i think of what i said here
im gna be damn disgusted:D
bUT i don really care.

And this goes to YOU.
Hello Miss fucker.
You are such a fucker because you fuck
day and night.
Fuck nth but all the other fuckers.
You are such a fuck because you like
to fuck.
You are just fucking trying to pose
like some fucktard.
Which promotes you to a fucking fucktard.
Cmon what the hell are you now?
See for urself fucker.
See how fuck-er you have grown to be like.
See how much of disgusting fuckers you have around you.
See how many days you take for granted just for one bloody little
fuck.
You think you are big.
Hell yes,
You are a big fat fucking fucktard.
Am i being fatist?
Yes i am(:
_|_
Serve you right Miss fuckerr<3

city of angels.

2007-09-02T23:27:00.000-07:00

RECAP OF 07'

THE ENERGETIC TERM THREE:

The day i got over you,completely.Pl walk-a-jog.

TERM ONE&TWO:

The first few bus rides..

Thats bout it(:
Muchhhhh LOOOOOVEEE
LOVELY LADIES<3

-

Cheer up candy!

Cause sooner or late rit's over,
I just don want to miss you tonight

OOPS

2007-09-02T00:41:00.000-07:00

I forgot these two pics!<3
(the jumping pic too unglam so i edited it)

SWEETS

2007-09-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

WTF STUPID BLOGGER!_|_

sEC FOUR FAREWELL was not really a disaster,SOMEHOW.

Oh well thankss for the gifts MA'AMS.
HAHA HELL YEAH WE'LL RMB YOU GUYS FOR SURE.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
YOU PPL WILL DEF BE THE ONES I WILL MISS
THE MOST WHEN THE SEC FOURS GRADUATE END OF THIS YEAR.
AWW.ANYWAYS,
JUST TAKE CARE AND ALLT THE BEST FOR O'S & N'S<3
COME BACK SOMETIME AH:D

im just hiding away..

I just want u to know who i am
2007-09-02T00:08:00.000-07:00
YES LUH BESTEST DONE LUH THE UPLOADS!!

u missed it love<3

lips of an angel

2007-08-28T01:54:00.000-07:00

i know i havent been blogging.
i know ive been too busy lately.
i also know im lazy,so yeah let the pics speak
it all(:

Yes fuck,i miss u fucking lotzz.
Hate the new fuck.

SLLAMMM the DAAAMN POETRY=D

yes luh yes,jovvee&sonia luh yes.

yes luh yes,pimmala luh pimmalaaaaa!!

somehow,u cant beat us at this=D

cmon charlie lets go horny=D

one and only,lovable teletubbie.

Nita's specs.
Eh ehh,not bad.

kissable love.

shes the sweetest sis<3

mirrors<3

Im shorter and fatter thank you.

spotlight=D

CMI?
No,we ahh de belly good ahhliannxzz=0
(stay away)

a smile speaks it all=)

speak no evil,kiss no evil=)

I felt like a fish all of a sudden during Physics.

2.3's state during music lesson.
we are in CIRCLES!wow

!the taiti gang=D

Yesiagree im on drugs:/

yup,this is love<3

ganney's best photographic skill,lol.

yes,u do look a cat lh=D

Charls<3

Penelopee:Ahhhh thankks,really(:
Lh:LOL?
Jovee:Yes u do give the best hugs<3
Rae:Yes bimbo i cant help it but to say tht:D

~somehow,u jus got me smiling to myself.

Born dumb.

2007-08-23T05:34:00.000-07:00

i cannot find a way to describe it
its there inside all i do is hide
i wish tht it wld jus go away..
whatwld u do?
u do if u knew?
what wld u do?

all the pain i thought i knew
all the thoughts lead back to u.
back to what was never said back and forth
inside the head
i cant handle this confusion
im unabled come and take me away

Guess i cldnt control my emotions today.
Oh well no point crying over spilled milk.
But gotta figure a way to clean it up.
Well,in my situation guess i gotta live w the fact
tht im jus like tht.
and though im bloody discouraged
i gotta work like what Zillion times harder!
Right now my emotions are out of control
but atleast i've let it all
out so i feel rather at ease now.
Thx to all who made me feel better.

Thanks teletubbie for the best hugs each time.
Thanks brenda for the stupid funny faces.
Thanks charls and penelopee!for the talk and all the crap.
Thanks CHANGGERR for being gay each time and cheering
ppl up w ur humour.
Thanks teo shak and EMAK for the hugs and comforting words.

Trying not to swear but
i gotta swear this.
Im certainly gna miss u guys like what
truckloads?
I dunno but im not sure about us
being like this anymore nxt yr.
Time changes things.
Things changes ppl.
Oh well.

And RAHH THIS SONG.

i always needed time on my own.
I nvr thought i'll need u there when i cry...
When u walk away i count the steps tht u take.
Do u see how much i need u right now?

I never felt this way before.
Everything tht i do
reminds me of you.

al the words i need to hear to always
help me get thru the day
ad make it okay...
i miss you..

my gingerbread woman!

2007-08-21T04:07:00.002-07:00

back:D

TODAAY AT PS(yet again) :D

omg,i like this!(sarah,clues ah(: )

nice nice i knw i knw(:

YESTT AT PS((:

i shld have cheated for D&T.(ohh weell shhh.secret)

i tell u if i ahte the money i wld have bought these(:

interchange w all the horny daniels is just "whoo" (;
my lovable teletubbie flend(:

me,ganney & laokuku(spelling?)

HEY YOU!
U ARE WARNEDD I SWEAR!
THERE IS A LIMIT TO EVERYTHING.
EVEN YOUR SHIT.
THERE IS A LIMIT TO THE AMT
OF SHIT U SHIT OUT EVERYDAYY.
SOO DON THINK UR SHITT CAN REACH
THE SUN.
ITS FAAR TOO MUCH IM TELLING YOU.
PLS REMIND URSELF
EACH TIME U DO SUCH THINGS THT
U DON KNOW A SHIT ABOUT ME.
UNLESS U BELONG TO THE
"STALKISH" TYPE.
THE TYPE I TOTALLY DETEST!
JUST SO YOU KNOW.

mind you.

my gingerbread woman!

2007-08-21T04:07:00.001-07:00

we're back at it again

2007-08-18T04:46:00.000-07:00

the result

tHATS WHY!
I DON STUDY IN THE AFTERNOONS!
But ohh well forced myself to
cause i had something impt to do
later.
So well.
I actually manage to do math
cause it was just practising.
But for physics im giving myself whole of tmr
to complete.
Am home alone now.
Loving it.

omggg!
HD MELON is my joy!
<3

streesssss!

2007-08-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Geog stress overr!

The teletubbie love.
We love our Daniels okay!

Charls was crazy.I got a shock when i saw her on the floor looking so ____(:

crazy horny gays w one poor bimbo!

once again

:)

Well the test was abit screwed.
We'll see how.

u've seriously gotten on my nerves for sure.

lets cry together

2007-08-14T01:20:00.000-07:00

Am feeling super low,lousy.
The fact is i am lousy prob thts why im feeling
low.Well i really dunno whats gna become of me if
i go on like this.I shld change yea,but fuck
how to?
Seems like a big prob this is.
Urghh gotta revise but cant seem to.
My thoughts just are nvr here.
Its somewhere else.
And i cant seem to get it back.
Too distracted i guess.
Hmmm.I have been eating like
some mad bitch.
But ohh well.
No point being bothered to be
slim when ur lousy right?
Yes im a sucker.
A dumb stupid useless one.
Thts why im nvr happy.

Andd i only blame myself.

dejavu

2007-08-13T02:33:00.000-07:00

Yest some fuck happened at hme.
I cldnt handle it i swear.
My sickening bro is
acting like a some
fucked up fuckerr
who seriously fucking needs a wake
up call.
Whoa damn you la cb.
This yr o's u still wanna
fucking smoke and ruin your damn bloody health?
Go onl like some jerk instead of fucking hell
studying?Going out to meet
her like shes gna help u pass o's.
Talking to her every night like there's
fucking no tmr for the both of you whoa.
Superr ass mann.
Whatever yeah yeah
all those fucking idiots who
get themselves in a MESS getting involved
in relationships at this fucking age.
Whats w this whole love crap shit w relationship
shits man?
Like u wld die living a single or something?
WTFF??

Okay drop tht.
Ltes tlak bout today.
In the morn had to give myself sometime to wake
up to myself again.
As last nights vulgar lang,violent moves
and fucking hurting words
were still running thru my head.
Got back geog paper.
I did super fucking bad.
I was damn bloody disappointed.
But its not the end.
Gotta work like a mad bithc for the CT.
Yup.
And yes im a fatso.
I gotts lose tht fucking KG.
So yeah.
OMgoodness.
So much too do.
Gotta start gymming and all those
shitty bad habits to stay slim again
AFTER CT.
Cause if i don eat i will
get tht stupid headache.
And i wld feel like either
jus gg to bed or vomiting.
Yuch tht feeling sucks so yea.
Guess there will be less Np sessions alrd.
So will have mor etime for myself and
others.
There's so much to catch up on.
Gotta catch up w some ppl aswell.

Yuck i hate tht asshole shit sucker.
Yay i finnaly manage to use tht word
again after a looong search for
a person who suits the words best!
And tht shitass is some ass la okay.
Wait i get suspended for such "CRIME"
Nono im not evil.
But seriosuly she sucks sooo muchhhh la.
Omg i hate her hate her and yes.
Totally hate her.
I just cant face the fact tht i cld
act stand her last time.
omggggggg!

Okkkkk!!
Oh yea today's break was quite hilarious.
Haha all thx to "GA" the fugly babe and toh toh
penelope tohh.
HAH.
OOOOKKKAAAYY!
BUHBYE.

Family ties family ties!!!!!!!
Fuck the word family for i hate it soo muchh now.

Seriously was it my fault?

for all the things u've done.

2007-08-10T23:05:00.000-07:00

As i predicted,i got my period.I really hate it.I wanted to go for a jog.
But damn im stuck at home changing pads.How exciting.And my trought is killing me.
RAHHH!!

Obesity kills.
And i swear its killing me day by day.
9th Aug duh ND had lunch at muthu's curry rest.
Then went over to grandma's to celebrate her bday.
There i saw my aunt and all.
And damn the first thing she told my mum when she saw me was
"hey dharsh has put on huh!her face is way chubbier now"
omfg!!
I tell u was frustrated yet smiling.
Wth pls.So damn fucking adding on to my uncontrollable misery pls.
Fuck it.And at home i have mum who says im fine im fine but wth
im not.And she just does not seem to understand and she makes me
eat and eat and eat.Almost everyday the food goes either down the
toilet bowl or dustbin.
Darnit.Im wasting food and yea ofcourse im guilty.
But hey what am i suppose to do?
Cant wait for sch.
Im gna be str8 hme after sch to revise.
Ct is here damnit!
So i gotttaa start serious mugging.

Ohkay guess thts all for now.
Im gg for some show at NUS ltr.

the things i've done is not enough.Never will be enough.

Deep in my heart.

2007-08-08T00:53:00.000-07:00

OHHH BOY!
NDP OVER!
SAD? HAPPY?
MIXED?
HELL YEAH MIXED.
HAPPY CAUSE WE DID KINDA WELL I THOUGHT.
SAD CAUSE ITS THE LAST SESSION WITH SEC FOUR MA'AMS.
OHH MY.
THTS DAMN SADD.
We had pizza from Officers,CIs=)
My gossh thanks a zillion for tht.
It was verry filling and tasty.
And yea the green tea too.

And not forgetting wht the ma'ams gave us!
M&Ms!w a sweet note.
Maami!
It was a nery nice way to end it all.
HAH.
Ohkay.
Back to the parade.
The sun was not as hot as how it
was during rehearsals.
Ohh well.
Lucky.
the pri sch were damn irritaing i have to say.
The commands very funny right?
laugh laugh.
Come and command la.
STUPID GILA IMMATURE LITTLE ROWDY MORONS!!
hEH.
After parade had the concert.
WHoa not bad ah.
Our sch got lotsa talented ppls.
I really enjoyed the D'arts performance.
Its was really well planned and performed.
I like the way they remix and changed the songs.
Very amusing.
OKok i guess im in the [very good] mood now.
HEH HEH.
Yea and the performance by the China students(our guests)
was reallly very classical and professional.
Haha.
Np went abit wild during the comm singing.
The funniest was when dearest Wen hui was abit
on the drunk side tht she pushed sheryl then she
pushed brenda then they both fell down.
Then the CULPRIT stand there and laugh.
Whoa best ah.
Crazy mann.
I loved the vibration when
we were singing will you.
Cause the GB girls were jumping.
I tell u damn nice the vibration.
Haha.
Im not being sacarstic but really.
The NP HUR was just tooo ..um HUR?
At first when deeksha was marching
on stage i was like "ohh my wht is she doing?"
But then i realised it was a MUST do thing for Ugrps.
My fav song!!
We will get there
was in the video.
And darnit so was i.
But i looked terribly fat
and dumb pls.
Omg terribleee!
Then they also screened the horrible sessions
of our march.
But i know i know today's was better.
I realise tht when u act sing the
National anthem it finishes faster.
HAH.
So im gna sing frm now on((:

Ohkay guess thts all for today.
After NP went mac just to buy coke.
Coke craving?
So yea bought then headed straight hme.
Damn tired now..

In advance for tmr((:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLYNNIS MA'AM!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOTHER'S MOTHER!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THE LUCKY
ASSHOLES WHO GET TO ENJOY THEIR BDAY
TO THE FULLEST EVERY YEAR CAUSE ITS
A PUBLIC HOLIDAY!!!

there's still a long long way to go.

try being me.

2007-08-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

You guys make me look forward to CCA each time <3

Mummy why cant you be like this all the time huh?

Im so strung out on you,i can t barely move but i like it.

fUCK this moment fuck this feeling.
Ohh godd for hell's sake i dun want to
feel like this anymore.
Im jus sick of this whole contradiction.
Ohh damn,i completely abhor
myself right now.
Im like the worst thing alive in this hse pls.
Oh yes, im lousy and dumb and fat and mad.
If only sch was equally fucked.
The way i behave in sch is jus crazy and dumb.
Cos i feel at ease when im like tht.
I dun understand myself.
What more expect others to understand me?
The things i used to want
were never mine.
The things i dun want anymore
jus come rushing up to me now for what?
Sometimes i just cant seem to figure out life.
I just wish i cld turn back time.
I wld have been a better daughter,rather thankful.
I wld have been a much much better friend,not a bitch.
I wld have been a slimmer asshole,unlike now some fatso
who's life is getting more and more miserable.

I was too bored tht i started to wonder
seriously,IF ONLY i cld turn back time..

I love my mum.
She changed my impression of her on Sun,her bday.
She was so thankful for wht i had bought for her.
She was happy the whole day why,
cause its her bday and she wanted to be happy for her sake?
Hell no,cause i was at my nicest and helped her w the chores.
Ohh boy, now i know how i
can frustrate her so much tht she can scream and yell at me
everyday.
Hais.
We can only yell at ppl whom we love.
And know they'll still love us no matter what.
We only joke with the ones we love.
&we only hurt the ones who love us.

Like what u did.

i need it when i want it ,i want it when i dont

2007-08-01T03:03:00.000-07:00

EH EH EH EHHLOO!
The past few days i've been quite
happy/ high whatever u'll take it as.
Hoho.Just soo happy
i dont know for what reason.
And and yea.
Mood swings aswell.
My PERIOD IS COMING.
Yay!
Which means i wont eat
and wont look as bloated and horrible.
Cos i just tend to hav noo appetite when
i have that.

Today Geog was fun!
Well act its fun everyday.
But today is the more FAAANN.
Me teletabi and Charls went high.
Act more of the tired version of high.
K stop thts shit.
Aiyerr dunno lah okay.
Just started laughing and stuuurff.
And yea i dropped the eraser and asked Chaarls
one stupid ques.
Regarding pubs and high birth rate.
Im sure u cant guess.
Unless u are a teletabi.
oMG TELETABIES ARE EVIL.
SOO AM I.HEH HEH HEH!
IM THE ONE WHO DWELLS WITHIN
CAINE?
Ok thts damn evil.
Will i be suspended Ms _?
Well don don cos im not a
teletabi anymore.
I have transformed.
Into...big bird?
ok back to teletabies.
Tinky winkie is gay!
Dipsy sounds more like disney.
Lala is kinda cute..
But ohhh noo!
Its rather evil i suppose?
POh can just suck balls.
I can even hear when it speaks!
ARSSE.
But i was a fan of thosee
colourful moronic idiots can u believe!
OMgashhh.
But i was a greater fan of
Barney!
HEH HEH.
And sesame street!
Whoo big bird makes me high.
Oh not forgetting ELMO'S WORLD TOO.
OMG that cute little fella.(puppet)
I DID NOT HAVE DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD LIKE CHARLS.HAHAHA:D

K after sch took bus w Ganney and zzzz possible.
Then yea ganney alighted then took bus hme.
ME and cass went into j8.
Looked arnd for a present for my mumma.
So once again thanks to
zzzz went into popular and got a mug.
Cos i was kinda broke.
Cos 50 bucks went to some fucktard cd rent.
K drop it.
I'll get pissed just thinking of it.
HAH.
I sound so moneyey minded.
Yea the mug's nice if only
they had a green one.
Awww mann.
My mum loves green.
sigh.
I saw lotsa niceee stuff at action city
cld have bought w tht 50 bucks allowance.
Damn.
alrrriggght!
I wanna gooo already.
(i sound like a 6 yr old spoilt brat)
OK I LOVE YOU
YOU
&
YOU
Thanks for making my day everyday esp today((:
Much looovvve man.

LOVE YOU TELETABI fren !!Hoho.

Make you wanna say my name girl,

2007-07-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

Sometimes i get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
Its my lullaby
Sometimes i drive so fast
Just to feel the danger
I wanna scream
Its makes me feel alive

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
And leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary

To walk within the lines
Would make my life so boring
I want to know
That i have been to the extreme
So knock me off my feet
Come on give it to me
Anythign to make me feel alive

Let your defences
Use no common sense
If you look you will see
That this world is a beautiful
accident
turbulent
suculent
opulent
permanent
No way,
i wanna taste it
Don t wanna waste it away

Sometimes i get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
Its my lullaby.

Anything but ordinary
Avril lavinge.

IM HOMMMMEEE ALONOOOOALLOOONNNNEEEE!
HEHEHEHEHEHEAAAYYYHEYYY!!

K just pics for Thurs and Fri.

too bad,sometimes gotta showw ur unglam sides!
Excuse me sayang,

Bro's room phone and I.

I can t wait to fall in love w you
You can t wait to fall in love w me
This just can t be summer love you'll see
This just can t be summer L o v e.

Tell u i was w my crew when i know it wasnt true,

picss

2007-07-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

I CANT EXPLAIN THIS FEELING

LET ME INTRO THE MOST MORONIC MORON(:

Hilarious shitss.

2007-07-23T02:18:00.000-07:00

OHHMG.
Third time
my phone got confiscated.
But then again.
Got it back right away.
OHH boy i gotta stop this i tell u.
Oh i think i suck balls at physics pls.
I suck at it
Simply cause i don even want to revise it.
BECAUSE I FIND IT SUPER BORRINNGG.
But oh well i guess i shld force myself la.
Quite obviously.
HAHAHA.
EC made my day AGAIN.
OMG.GAGAAGGAGAGA
Okay i just just
just realise tht the
sec ones from this two particular
class are no.1 asshole+stalkerss.
Do i look like a spy to you Bob huh?

Crapshit man tht one.
Okayy.
The best was break la.
I tell it felt like we
were watching a hilarious comedy ah.
CAST:JOVEE GAN & BRENDA NG.
HILARIOUS man the two jokers.
Lol.
Esp ganney's
reactions were just priceless.
That whole break made us high throughout the day.

Yep.
Then after sch went opp to eat maggimee.
Hah.
W Lh, Ganney , Cass & Chang.
Over there also got high.
Thanks to one old aunty.
Whoa sexaeee!
I jus realised most of
the time when we talk abt someone
most of the time i repeat ah
we tend to see them.
So at first we were talking abt the
old lady cause last time allso
we saw her.
Then she appeared .
Then i was talking abt this hooot malay guy.
Then ltr on my way back i saw him.
He smiled and duh i smiled back.
Cool sia .
Next time i wanna see someone
i shall talk abt that person.
Okay maybe this is just craaap.
HAHA CHILLI CRAB MAKES MEEE HIGH^^^^!
Im obsessed with bread w
butter and kaya mixed.
OMg i've been eating tht for breakfast and dinner.
HAH.
Okay ofcourse not the white bread.
Its the wholemeal bread.
Though butter is terribly fattening,
i cant really seem to give a shit when
im stressed/depressed.
I mean which asshole wld?

She makes me HAPPY!,nth more.
(That sounds like the macs or kfc add,i cant rmb)

I adore you,totally.

2007-07-21T03:32:00.000-07:00

FRIDAY.

Well fri i jus got
too many things to say.
Before art got screamed at!
MY POOR CLASS
WITH TOTALLY INNOCENT PPL.
Okay leave tht.
Then had PE.
I got to say thts the only PE i felt
i act took PE.
Cause i perspired?
HEH.
Sch was really fine.
Though i felt abit emo in the middle
of the day.
Ohh well.
Thinking of some stuff really
makes me think.
THE BEST PART IS
SAWW EYECANDAE.
Ohh God she makes me H A P P Y.
Well act not only her ofcourse.

After sch had NP.
I tell u dunno why but
the whole dayy i jsut felt tired.
So carrying my tired ass for Np
was just simply close to impossible.
But oh well.
NP was fine.
It was soo fine that I was fine.
HEH.
Then after NP
bought bubble tea w Wenhui and zhiying as usual.
Then this veri brilliant WH
left her cardboard in her lockerr.
OMG.
Just imagine it was arld 7 plus
the sch wld bee superr dark right
obviously.
So she dared not go by herself.
So me zhiying ran all the way
back to the locker with her.
Had o run across the road somemore
we prob looked a lot like pathlight escapes.
When we went inside.
It was damn dark pls her locker area.
Its place the the track.
No lights were on.
SCARYY.
Lucky we accompanied her man.
By the time i reached hme was like
8 30.

& I hope that there's someone out there
who can bring me back to you..

Sweetest touch.

2007-07-19T06:12:00.000-07:00

I try & try but my obsession wont let me leave.

Im tired and i forgot almost everything that
has happened this entire week.
Thanks to NP training
i feel atleast fit.
I no longer see the bulging
unsightly sight of my tummy.
But its just the darnit coners
of my hips that are frigging faat.
OMG.
Ohkay i dun care.
Guess i gotta start off with my crashdiet*
once again.
OHH MY.
Oh yeah caught harry potter
on wed.
It was nice a must say.
Just that it was a bit too
short i felt.
Cho chang shld go
suck balls.
Shes damn uglyy.OHH MY.
Okay whatever not like Daniel is handsome
himself:P
Ron is cute.
Well i dunno but he is quite hot
i feel.
HAH,
Hermoine, do i have to comment
on that babe?
HEH.
OHHkay my HEALTHY
Chapati
(the healthier version of prata?)
is waiting for mee mee mee.
Yes me.
So buhbyee!

U simply rock my world.
Youyouyou yes you(((:

2007-07-16T04:01:00.000-07:00

GIRL OHH GIRL!

YOU!THE CUTE ONE!
Guess im gg gaga over you.

what now?

2007-07-15T03:56:00.000-07:00

Im eating corn.
Just got abit high from
talking to ganny on the phone just now.
Ohh well.
Im bored and i feel lost.
I donno what to wear tmr.
Prob most to most get kicked out of the sch.
Okay i wanna
go get another corn.
So BAABYE.

Lizz:Yes,arseehole*hugs back*
Lh:OHHKAY CHARLS I CAN SEE THAT<<
Mander:Oh hey.

Life,why are u being such an asshole?

2007-07-12T05:01:00.000-07:00

Im in serious shit
i feel totally lost
if im asking for help
its only because
being with you
has opened my eyes
cld i ever believe
such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself
wondering how
i keep closing my eyes
but i cant block you out
Wanna fly to a place
where there's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free

And im all mixed up
feeling cornered and rushed
they say tis my fault
but i want it so much
wanna fly her away
where the sun and the rain
come in over my face
wash away all the shame
when they stop and stare-
don worry me
cause im feeling for her what
shes feelign for me
i can try to pretend
i can try to forget
but its driving me mad
going out of my head

Mother,looking at me
tell me what do you see?
Yes, i've lost my mind

Daddy looking at me,
will i ever be free?
Have i crossed the line?

All the things she said
Tatu

Gosh i rmb listening to this
song when i was in pri sch.
Okay well
seriosuly
life's being a total bitch.
Its like this contradicting,
way beyond control,
useless kind of bitch.
I dont know what to say.
Everything that has happened
before will not happen again
is what i fugured out.
Okay maybe some things do.
But the stuff u enjoyed in the past
are the stuff u detest now.
Its weird but hell
thts what life is abt,
well atleast from what i feel.
But it cld be the other way round aswell,
something u used to hate
cld be soemthing u are
so into now.
Well mayeb that!makes more sense
in my life.
Okay there has to be a reason
for everything right?
Like they say
everything happens for a reason.
Well then why dont i get my reasons
to whatever that has been
going on?
I swear im super
lost.
What suddenly
everything has changed.
Thts why.
My life is really beyond control.
My emotions are beyond control.
My new anger is beyond control.
My thoughts are beyond cotrol.
So basically everything
that WAS under my control
is now beyond MY control.

Its time its time
i swear for the last time
its time i start changing myself.
I know its hard to change but its worse not to.
Its like changing plaster.
Cos when u take it out it sticks on
the wound and it hurts.
But once its done the feeling is way better
with a new plaster.
Same goes ..
Moving on is hard.
But holding on is harder.
Oh shit tht sounds like
like the "quit smoking"
advertisement.
"Quiting is hard,
but not quiting is harder"
Whoa,

goodbye my lover,goodbye my friend.

2007-07-11T01:53:00.000-07:00

Desperate for changing
starving for truth
im closer to where i started
chasing after you

Im falling even more
in love with you
letting go of all i've
held on to
im standing here until you make me move
im hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all im lacking
completely incomplete
i'll take your invitation
you take all of me now

there's nth else to lose
there's nth else to find
there's nth in the world
that can change my mind
there's nth else
there's nth else
there's nth else..

Hanging by a moment
Lifehouse

Sch was fine.
As usual it past quite fast.
I saw the rainbow.
Happily made a wish.
But hell,
its something i regret now.
Ok damn.
Alright i dun feel well.
Like totally not me at all.
Gotta go take a nap maybeee.

There's this
*something* abt you.
I just realised it today.
How well.

lost in my world

2007-07-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

Well lately have
been seriously
lost confused ashamed.
And i dont know why.
All of a sudden
i feel like i need to be alone.
My mixed emotions are
getting more and more
um...mixed?
Oh well
whatever it is life has to go on
somehow..
Tamil class was hilarious.
Atleast we were not like
low and tired this time.
Yes ohh yes,
Mon luckily the timing is shifted to tues
free period.
So..
i can go hme early!
Well not much of a diff its still
at 2 but better than 4 rright.

After sch went for NP.
I tell u forced myself
to carry the rifle ah.
Btw it was a dummy.
If i had carried the
actual one
i probably wld have made my
wrist worst.
Came back hme
super tired.
Yet quarrelled
w her.
I just stopped
talking and hung up the fone.
I cldnt stand it la.

those times..
can i buy them back?

YOU?

2007-07-05T04:20:00.000-07:00

Aug is nearing
the time of pain is replaying.
Hope i can handle it.

y did u fake that smile?

2007-07-05T02:58:00.000-07:00

I have been
gg thru serious pain.
Oh well this bloody wrist
is killing me.
I cant even write prop
ah.Crazzzzy
Okay i so wanna
watch kal ho na ho
now now now!
GODD!
wHATS WITH THIS
FUCKING CRAVINGSS!
I WAS NOT SUPPOSE
TO TOUCH MACS.
BUT FUCK.
SHIT HAPPENED.
Companied pris to go book court
opp kovan macs.
Then we wanted to pee
so went into mac toilet.
Then wanted to eat ice cream.
I SWEAR ITS BEEN 777777 YRS SINCE
I ATE IT.
So yea.
But guess what
we truly were expr poverty ah.
NO CASSSH!
My precious 20 bucks went
to some stupid rent for
some cd.

Idiotic me mann.
Yup then yea.
Li wen came along
like some saviour!
Haha.
Then we borrowed 2 bucks frm her.
Bought ourselves a double cheese plain.
Then shared half half.
How pathetic.
But hey better than nth!

Then what else headed hme.

OMG THAT DAY IN THE BUS
GOSH SERIOUS HOTT STUFF!

Told my bro go "hunt" for him.
HOHO.

cos i rather u not smile
at all.

i thought i knew you..

2007-07-02T02:16:00.000-07:00

Thats all for the damn walk a jog shit.
After that was the fun part.
Had NP shoot at Home team academy.
At first i was like
seriously nervous
to handle the real revolver
but then after handlin.
Boy was it cool!
HAH.
My shots not bad!
haha.
Yep.
Thats all i think happened.

unspoken words

2007-07-02T02:06:00.000-07:00

I hope this is the last time
im saying this.
I cant stand this anymore.
Its getting over me.
Now i cant do anything
except thinking of it.
Sometimes i wonder
how things can change
to such extend.
Cause to me
i wld have prefered
all tht not happening
than now,
that things have changed.
I just cld not keep these
inside of me.
I've led it out.
Im feeling better
atleast fine.
There's a lot more to this.
But oh well.
Enough is enough.
I can't go on.

AND HELL YEAH!
I WATCHED TRANSFORMERS ALRD!

HAHA
NTH MUCH IT WAS SERIOSULY BREATH-TAKING!

you dont know me.

2007-06-25T02:06:00.000-07:00

Back to sch.
Was sch fine?
A big yes!
Just for the lessons.
Atleast i was feeling
fine.
Not emo or any kinda tht shit.
Was talking to Shak during
CL break.
I was just talking bout
my past happenings and stuff.
Well u cant change the fact
tht all these stuff has happened.
But one fine day u'll come to know
of karma.
What goes around comes back around.

Well art was uber hilarious.
All thanks to brenda's
vivid imagination.
Lol.
And tht gayass cldn't be better.

Our physics tcher seems cool.
Just figured tht i take bus w her like
most of the morns.
Oh well abit slow eh.

Ohkay Tamil was atrocious.
Only two ppl turned up frm 2.3
I was darn pissed.
Like seriosly wth
if they can go hme so can i.
Not as if i love Tamil so much
or love the damnit class so much tht
i wld spend an hour there pls.
This is terribly sick.
Like wth.
Why cant we just have Tamil when
the rest are having their Chinese.
All i can say is those stupid
brainless freaks
are complicating everything.
So screwed tht we gotta get our ass
to stay back in sch just for TAMIL.
By then we wld alrd be out of the mood
and so.
And only SHIT happens during tht particular period.
Because we are tired and farnished nothing gets into
our tired minds.
Wth.
And then what during the CL breaks
all we do is stone?
Cause hello u cant expect us or maybe
me to act study in an environment
where there are super annoying freaks screaming their
ass off like some p6 idiots.
Prob its because its just been a few mths they have
past pri sch.
Worst than 2 yr old kids i swear.
Like they own the canteen la.
When its ur first break yea
alright it makes sense to like
make noise and stuff.
But like wht arn 12 to 2
Ure screaming like some
mental? okay tht seriously
stinks.
So yea just the first day
and i've got so much to say.

And this goes to you.
I dont give a shit
if ure older than me or whatsoever.
You just spoiled my mood for the rest of
the day.
No seriously whats w you.
That day u were sitting behind
my friend
and u acty said
something fucking nasty bout the sec 2's.
Well let me get this sraight to you
yu did past our standard once
and obviously MUST hve behaved in tht
manner u described us as.
Cause hello
how else wld u know.
Cause seriously wht to you know bout us?
Judging the whole level just by the attde of a few
shitass.
Seriously just dont appear in front of me again.
You simply have a low mentallity.
I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO.
& i strongly feel u gotta
get ur ass into learning proper vocab.
Maybe an extra yr hasnt done u any good.

Tution at 7.
And u have not done any work.
OMG,
tmr is my two lovlae
cousins bday!
One is turning 1.
The other turning 12.
Shrin and Shekinah
Cant wait to see those two
angels tmr!
But then again the thought of taking 53
all the way to bishan then all the way to sembawang
AFTER NP!
MAKES ME MAAD.
But heck whooo cares?!!
HEH.

I love u durian.

Back to the usual routine

2007-06-20T22:16:00.000-07:00

TIME FOR HOMEWORK-ING!
ITS THE LAST WEEK OF HOLS AND THERE I GO
STARTING MY FIRST WORK
FOR THE HOLS.
WELL AM USED TO IT ALRD.
JUST HOPE I DON MISS OUT ANYTHING
THIS TIME.
WAIT LTL WILL SCREAM.

Oh well tution again at 7 ltr.
Im really sick of seeing his face
like twice a week ah.
Gosh.
Anw,Just to vent
i shall say PROUDLY!!!
THAT I DID NOT WATCH A SINGLE MOVIE!
DURING THE HOLS.
So i go what the heck.
AHH.

Tag reply:

JOVEE:Yeap!cass helped act.ANW,I MISS YOU LIKE SHIT.

when letting go is the hardest

2007-06-18T06:11:00.000-07:00

Its just the feeling.
Oh well.
I guess i shld let go.
Cause its no use holding on
when you feel like letting go.
But its not tht easy.
Not tht easy does not mean not
possible.Its two diff things.
So yea i will try.
Actually as a matter of fact i am trying.
But im fallin even deeper.
Guess its not my time afterall.
Oh well its aight.
Cause as far as i know
time heals the pain.
I believe it does cause it healed
my past pains.

A million words wont bring u back,
cause i've tried,
neither would a million tears,
cause i've cried.

its something u nvr knew abt..

2007-06-18T04:22:00.000-07:00

Oh well im like finally
back hme after
a loooong weekend at grandma's.
Oh goshh i miss my BED!
Like hell ohh hell i tell you.
Oh well nth much to say.
Im really tired and kinda
upset with some stuff right now.
Ohh well.
Im really upset with my damn
weight.
Its terrible.
Goshh after all those eating.
Its aight Sch's opening anw.
Im gna stick to my priorities.
Gotta work harder this term.
Im not gna eat macs everyday.
Im gna cut down on my outings.
And LAST BUT NOT LEAST.
Stop eating for atleast a week or so.

Sch's opening eh!
Well im not sure but the rest of the
ppl but im kinda excited.

tag replies:

LH:uhhuh! Ohkay!
Penelope:DONE!
Sarah:Haha,its aight la schs gna open then u get to see the puff.
Jocleen:HELLO.
Amanda t:ALRIGHT!
zzzzzz:HAHA U ZZZZZZ POZZIBLE!

I've tried my best to let go.

2007-06-14T21:43:00.000-07:00

I hate gg for funerals.
But hell i got to.

BYE

So much i can't say.

2007-06-14T01:40:00.000-07:00

I shldn't love you but i want to
I just can't turn away
I shldn't see you but i can't move
I can't look away

And i dont know,
howta' be fine when im not
'Cause i dont know,
howta' make a feeling stop

Just so you know this feeling's
taking control of me
And i can't help it
I won't sit around,
I can't let him win now
Thought you shld know i've tried
my best to let go of you
But i don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before i go
just so you know

It's getting hard to be arnd you
There's so much i can't say
Do you want me to hhide the feelings
And look the other way

This emptiness is killing me
And i'm wondering
why i've waited so long
Looking back i realise
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here..been waiting here.

Im addicted to this song..
hmm.wonder why.

Gosh two weeks and a half weeks of
hols just gone like tht.
Well yes i did shopping but not satisfying.
The best is gg with my mum.
Cos can spend more.

Oh well.
I feel this something in me lately.
Im not bothered abt anything.
Not even anything tht has to do with me.
Im kinda scared.
I know this is weird and all but i
can't seem to understand my thoughts
and actions lately.
Oh GOD's gotta hele me through this whole
dilemma shit.
Im happy tht i have not been swearing as much
lately as well.
Maybe im not myself at all.
Yall wont know.
Try being me.
Its tougher than controlling ur shit.

just gotta say it all before i go..

crapper,idiot?

2007-06-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Oh well oh well.
I have been doing
crappy and dumb things lately.
The day before yest i went to
MUMZ DARLZ place to look after her kids.
So to get there
i shld take 58 to Bishan Mrt
then take a train down to sembawang.
But stupid me missed the stop.
Cause i was blasting the volume of my mp3
i cld not hear the"next station"
thing.Sooo
I ended up in woodlands and i din even know
it was woodlans la.
Then i tapped my card and walked.
Its weird but woodlands looks allooot like
sembawang.
Then i walked to my "surprise"
i saw the word delhifrance big big.
Then i was like huh Sun Plaza got delhifrance meh.
Then i said fuck and took the train to sembawang.
WTH.
I looked like some weirdo and ppl were staring
like has this mental lost her way?
damn.
Then yea i reached when the kids were
sleeping.
And thanks to me sneeze.
The little one got up and i got scolding frm
my grandma.
oMG.
But hello i cant control my sneeze!!
yep yep then stayed over and all tht.

Just so you know.

This feelin's takin' control of me..

2007-06-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Don't call
dont come by
ain't no use
dont ask me why
you'll never change
there'll be no more crying in the rain

Movin' on its my time
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first,a little bit
but now im so over
I'm so over it..

just hanging by a moment.

2007-06-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

we gave great business to u eh?

charls was tht game thaaat fun?like seriously.

we are the ones ur mum warned u about.haehae.

my last day.

the addictive game.

three ppl cant take pic tgt?hah.

orange and white obsession.

shakkkooooo<3!>

toilet<3>

insane<3

-im falling even more in love with you..

its all the same

2007-06-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

Oh wells my hse was packed w lotsa ppl for the past few days.

Had visiter and so on.

Then had to entertain pretty much din have time for myself or friends.

But ohh well.

Atleast got to go out and stuff more often.

Have not touched hw at all!

I mean i don even know whuuurrtt ta doo!!!

Haiyaaa kkkk.

shes no diff from you.

damn this alright.

2007-05-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

I tell u i seriously hate this whole
shopping shit for weddings.
Cause i know myself i only wear those stuff once.
So wth.
I don like shopping for this SHIT!!!
and wtf i don even wanna go for the fucking wedding pls.
I really dont care!
But hell i HAVE to
cause its my freaking cousin.
URGH.
TELL ME WTF TO DO NOW??!!
I HAVE TO GO AGAIN LATER LIKE WTH.
I CANT EVEN GO OUT W CASS,GAN ANS SARAH.
WHT A FREAKING LIFE!

fussin and fightin we're back at it again..

nope.

2007-05-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

After yest exp.
Ive decided not to shop w the muma
after work.
Cause all she cares abt is herself.
So yea.
It was a serious waste of time i
tell u.
In the end only manage to spend 140bucks on
some suit for the wedding.
Oh fuck.
So much just on tht.
But lucky me i din pay for it.
She paid!
So i still have my 200 bucks.
Meeting D ltr at Bugis.
Oh my i better get going.

5 4 3 2 1!
IM OFFFFF!! (:

i need to get arnd it.

2007-05-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

Memories consume

like opening the wound

Im picking up myself again

You all assume

Im safe here in my room

Unless i try to start again

Clutching my cure

I tightly lock the door

I try to catch my breath again

I hurt much more than

anytime before

I have no options left again.

I'LL PAINT IT ON THE WALLS

CAUSE IM THE ONE AT FAULT

I'LL NEVER FIGHT AGAIN

AND THIS IS HOW IT ENDS..

stupid me.

2007-05-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

MY DEATH?

Okay i nearly died just now alright.

I did something real idiotic just now.

I wanted to make myself maggi mee

cause i was hungry and there was nth left in the hse as i was SUPPOSE to go buy myself breakfast.

But lazy me cld not carry tht fatass of mine out of the hse.

When i turned on the stove the damn shit irritating thing was not working?

So i act hero and did something to the gas container shit.

Then it started giving out smell and made funny and scary noises.

I tell u i freaked and alrd made my LAST WISH

knowing tht i was gg to die.

But then again.

Its not my time yet!

The thing just went off.

OMG.

THANK GOD.

Im not tht stupid.

Yep then decided to make the maggi using the microwave.

HAH.

Shld have done tht earlier but too bad.

It was quite weird i was not afraid to die.

Cause i have lived enough?

HMM.

Not too sure.

MY 200 BUCKSonly?

Oh wells ltr gg out again.

Meeting mum at city hall.

I still got the 200 bucks she gave me!

So im gna spend it all ltr.

Oh maybe keep some for chalet.

But maybe spend all.

AHHH.

I don give a shit.

I will see how it goes.

But im soo not spending my money on heels okay mumma?

Tht she better pay for me.

Cause its not like wear heels everyday.

I wer it OCCASIONALLY.

And now im buying cause of some sickening wedding dinner this sat,2nd June.

My cousin is getting married.

But i dont like his gna-be wife in three days time!

She sucks.

Oh well i like i care a hell bout his life.

yup.

So yeah.

But i like weddings cause i get to stone.

Cause i get free food!

And ofcourse get to see my LOVELAE!!

YES YES.

Ohh mann now i cant wait.

HMM.

Oh yea my six yr old cousin BRUDDER.

Hope he recovers soon!

Cause poor boy he felt sick at the wrond time!!

When kids are enjoying their ice cream he is enjoying

his disgusting med.

Omg.

The thought of it makes me sick.

YUCK.

Reminds me of my sick days.

so sick?

its been too long.

2007-05-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

Okay.

Its alrd the hols.

Its alrd June!

And nth seem to have happened.

I feel the same.

I have not lost or put on weight or maybe

have put on a bit.

My life,

is still the same old ups and downs.

But its not like im totally depressed or anything.

Its jus sometimes i feel kinda emo and weird and

like wanna run away somewhere and seriously,

never come back.

Oh wells though thts nvr possible

cause i'll need my passport for tht and thts just

NOT possible.

So for tht!

I give up.

Well the only way maybe is to be out.

And then once im returning hme.

Just sit in the bus and nvr alight till the last stop which is the interchnge

and then take the bus back again.

Whoa.

Tht will be so damn bloody fun.

Just me and the bus.

Maybe i shhld switch off my phone aswell.

hmm.

I am really gna do tht.

So yeahh.

I shld go out more often.

Maybe somedays i shld go out on my own.

As in all alone.

And just lie to mum tht im gg out w friends.

Cause i swear she'll think im mad to go out alone.

She alrd feels i need a psychiatrist.

Cause yest at the hosp when i went to vist

this 6 yr old kid.

My cousin.

I was a bit off.

So i told my mum.

"I think i shld be admitted more often its so peaceful here.

Theres is noone to disturb you.

And the more u can spend time w urself talking to urself"

I tell onc ei said tht.

She stared at me.

Well i guess i really freaked her out.

But who cares,

I just said wht i felt like saying.

I mean its true.

All u do is just lie there.

Food is served.

When ur sick all u will feel like eating is fruits.

So hey thts super healthy.

U wont put on kilos.

Whoa.

Greatt life right.

HMMM.

Drop tht.

Im super bored now.

Im doing crappy shitty stuff.

Woke up at 10.

Tried damn bloody hard to wake up at 10 okay!

Cause i din want to watse the morn away

just slping.

So yeah.

Well too bad the earliest i cld wake up is 10.

YEP.

Then brushed took my shower and switched on the tv.

I tell u there were screening Dr.No or whtever shitass movie tht was.

It was this double 0 7 movie.

James Bond.

I tell u tht guys kisses girls more than stops crime or whtever hs suppose to do.

Tht horny dude!

Ohh mann.

I got damn bored so i turned it off then here

i am crapping away in the comp.

I think this is fun.

Cause in a way act ur talking to urself.

HEH.

Yes wht.

Oh wells too bad if u disagree.

Maybe yea its not true.

Myabe it is.

AGHHHHSHHHUTUP.

OKay now im freking bored.

Im gna go.

i cannot find a way to describe it

its there inside all i do it hide

i wish tht it wld just go away

wht wld u do

u do if u knew?

all the pain i thought i knew

all the thoughts lead back to u

back to wht was nvr said

back and forth inside the head

i cant handle this confusion

im unable come and take me away

my words are cold i dont want them to hurt u

if i show u

i dont think u'd understand

cause no one understands...

somehow sometimes..

2007-05-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

sometimes i need to rmb just how to breathe
sometimes i need you to stay away from me
sometimes im in disbelief i didnt know
somehow i need you to go
sometimes i feel that i trusted you too well
sometimes i just feel like screaming at myself
somehow i need to be alone.

dont stay

forget our memories

forget our possibilities.

i dont need you anymore

i dont want to be ignored

i dont need one more day

of you,

wasting me away..

sometimes i wish things were the same
somehow i wish gd things nvr come to an end.

insideout

2007-05-24T03:41:00.000-07:00

-Coffebean

-Just me and ganney in action.

Sch was gd.Well to say i act went a little crazy.I was screaming like some brainlesss asshole who had a deprived childhood.I was pretending tht we were all on board the ship Titanic.Then was yelling Rose and Jack.Pooor classmates.Sorry ah.Probably drove yall nuts.Hah.I dunno i jus felt like being happy.I din even clean a shit up!

Fuck.I feel bad but then again i dont(:

The whole hall presentation was goood.I mean this yrs seriously the best sports day i've ever had.The committee ppl deserve a thumbs up!Wonder how it wld be nxt yr mans.Oh mann the thought alrd gives me chills.Hais its sad they got to leave.I mean its not like im gna cry but obviously some ppl are gna be missed!Those who made sports day happen.

After sch.Went j8 w Lh and Cass.First we wanted to lunch at coffebean but then again decided to save up so went to the foodcourt and had chicken rice.Yep then walked arnd.Then decided to go get something to drink at coffebean.I got this white choc dream.It was gd.Better than the usual.Yea then we took some pics for self-entertainment.Then left at 5 30.The earliest i've ever left j8.

its still you.

tell myself i'll stop everyday,knowing tht i wont.

2007-05-23T03:33:00.000-07:00

Sch was contradicting today.

Oh wells.

To begin w i was seriously high in the morn.

And then got pissed off during break cause

of some asshole sucker.

Then bloody emotional during all the other last

few periods.

Tell me why i've been feeling this way recently.

I dont know.

I know its no gd for me.

But i jus cant.

Im just so stuck up in this dumb shit feeling

which is obviously getting me nowhere.

if u knew wht was running thru my head then.

Tmr wanted to give a miss to sch.Cause hello i hate cleaning up my own room

wht mre the sch.Like i care a hell for tht.My ass ah.

But oh wells due to some stuff i gotta go.

Yep maybe gg out after tht.To end off the term well.

HEH.

Alright thts it im done.

baby you,have become my addiction..

but u didnt wait did u?

2007-05-22T04:34:00.000-07:00

Can i say something?
Sch is a waste of my time.
Today sch was such a waste.
So wasted tht i cld have stayed at hme and
slept longer or mayeb go out or maybe jus STAY
at hme.
Im so used to sleeping late.
Cause its not too long after i fell sick.
So yea.
Oh wells.Many things happened today.
For all i know is tht i was seriously horny during like wht
all the lessons in sch?
Don ask me why.
But tht!FHM card seriously can drive u nuts!
Like wht Mdm Z said.
She said it can make guys wet themselves.
Boyy thts sick.
Yes.And not forgetting Gan.
We fought haha.
As in she was bored so she kept
messing up my hair.
I swear i went nuts.
Then she said she will bite me.
As if i wont bite her back.
Oh wells.
Then she poured water on me.
I chased her arnd the 4th level.
But hello im sick.
My damn air passage in blocked.
Later i die to early.
Dont want!
So saddening.
But yep.
So i decided not to chase.

Me and mum are in gd terms alrd.
I swear im the happiest girl in the world right now.
Or mayeb just a happy daughter.
Yay.
So i guess the shopping wont be a prob.
I need clothes.
I mean its not like i dont have clothes hello!
But its just i want more.
And i want tht bloody jeans okay!
I swear i will get it by chalet.
Or atleast hope to(;
Yeah.
Ms L loves shouting my name right?
Every single thing also.
"DHARSH SHH"
Thts wht she calls me .
And at times.
"DUTCH"
Like hell,as if she named me la.
Damnit.
She and her ultra gross dressing sense.

Yea then nth else happened.
Din go for Public Speaking again.
Instead had this loooong talk w
Gan and Travis.
Yea then maced w Travis then headed hme!
Im hme before 7.
Am i suppose to be proud or whattt mans!

J
maybe i shld have?
if i had,things wld be way diff now.
but u din wait did u?
Now all u want is her.
u've got her.
I ve got nth left.
& i jus walk away pretending
i nvr knew u..

S
i jus cant click w u.
though u are ultra nice and
smart .
its jus this nth tht we have in common.
yes i felt for u.
yes i cared for u.
and hell yea i like talking to u.

i shared my probs with u.
cause i needed someone
and u were there.
the gift u gave me feels like
a farewell gift.

but is it my fault?
maybe it is.

and i feel dumb for tht.
maybe i made a mistake somewhere
along the way..

now i feel .
why cldnt i jus like u?
cause now ur gone.
and i miss you.
but fcuk only as a friend.
i NEED morn msgs!!!
i need it to get me thru the day!
i need u back in my life damnit.

why cant we jus go w the ones who love us.

im craving for..

2007-05-21T05:29:00.000-07:00

DAMN NOW I WANT CANDIES!!!!!
URGHH!
MY BLOODY CRAVINGS GOT MEEE MAAD!

Red eyes.

2007-05-21T02:05:00.000-07:00

Yeah back to sch today.
Alright sch was fine today.
I tell u im damn fcuked cause of my
results for tamil.
This is ridiculous la!
Wth.
I got a B3 shitass.
Same as my chem.
Which is NOT how its suppose to be.
How can?
URGH.
I tell u im frustrated.
And i flung my Eng paper like fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I sweared a lot today.
And im not proud of swearing la.
Who wld be.
Im trying not to.
Cause duh its no gd!
Oh wells.
I will try!

Hmm.
I cant stand the bloody weather la.
Damn u la.
Stupid Sun.
Nobody wants u.
Give me the rain mans.
HAIS.
Life is gettting better?
Just bcos of gd results?
My ass.
Its getting worst.
I tell u ppl better not be surprise to
see me at IMH if yall happen to pass by.
I've been smiling to myself.
Getting high at the wrong times.
Going crazy.
And then aiyyerr.
Its just the same old mood swings.
But i tell u this might get dangerous.
Oh wells i think its bcos of the medication i had
for the past few days.
Cmon 12 tablets and 4 spoons of cough mixture A DAY.
Crazy yet happening.
Damn .
The taste of the bloody med fills my mouth.
Till i go drink water like some mad dehydrated shit.
Then end up w sleepless nights.
Which i hate.
Cause i go to the toilet like what more than 3 times atleast in the night.
How the hell to sleep????
urgh.
Then wake up in the morn feeling sleepy.
Nonsense sia.

Life is contradicting.
I hate it.
I dunno!
I just don get wht i want this yr at all!
Not like last yr.
Last yr was hell lot better.
But oh well.
Past is past we cant turn back time can we?
So yea though i tell myself each day.
"You've just got these stuff,so shut the
hell up and live w it"
But huullllooo!
Im the one saying this to myself.
HEH.
Like i wld listen.
BULLSHIT.

HMM.
BACK TO SCH.
That bloody Math tcher was annoying.
I hate her voice her face and her freaking attitude.
THOUGH she was wearing RED.
Whatever.
Mrs lee wears red too but hey who loves her?
Okay this is dumb.
Going crazy over red.
WTH,
call it childish?
HAHA.
Wait till u find out wht i do at hme.

Now my plan for ltr.
NTH!NTH!NTH!
Except wait till she comes hme w my dinner.
Cause i tell im like some pathtic shit.
Who ate porridge tht disgusting spoiler for
my stomach.
Yea then watch tv.
Feel liek watching KAL HO NAA HO.
All of a sudden.
I tell u feel like crying thts all.
Weird but hey thts why meet me at IMH!
YEA.
Shutup when she nags otherwise wont be able to go for chalet!
Then yea just shut up eat chocs or whatever thts left in the fridge.
I tell u my fly must have finished everything and licked the wrappers la .
when i was sick.
And obviously BED-RIDDEN!
AHHH damn tht.

DAMN.
I've been coughing like some mad dog.
Cough cough cough.
Like some barking bitch.
Fuck i hate this.
But yay.
I dun have to do PE.
Though during Pe we play badminton i prefer slacking.
Cause the world knows i suck at badminton.
Maybe even insulting tht sport.
So heng me.
Yep.
Stoning durign PE
rawks my world.
Cause our PE is like what most of the
time during the last few periods.
So obviously don feel like taking right.
See quite logical.
And somemore gotta change.
Forrr whutt?
For tht freaaking 40 mins.
Ultra crazyness.
Haha.
Okay im saying all this cause its alrd the last week of the term.
So can complain all i want.
I don have to bear w it and convince myself anymore.
Hais.
Im still not happy.
I WAANNA VENT MY ANGER ON YOU.
You stinking bitch!
Laugh somemore la!
urgh i hate u.
YAY.
IM done.
No use swearing at bitches.
Cause it wont help unless u bark like em.

Fcuk this,
we had to stay back aft sch for wht!
For some stinking Guzeng posing and then photo taking shit.
HELLO!
Do we look like fools to yall?
We got like so many other better things to do.
Fcuk ah.
Like we wanted all this shit pls.
At the end of it no thank you!
WTF.
Bloody shits.
Last min call the whole class.
At then end,end up only taking pics of two ppl.
DAMN.
I cld have took the bus!
I CLD HAVE TAKEN THAT BUSSS!!
HEARD THAT?
THHHAAT BUS!
URGH.
DAMNIT.
Wasted my bloody time there la.
Not like 2.3 has many pretty faces pls.
Oh wells.
Whatever mans.
This is rubbish and USELESS.
Just for some magazine or webpag whtt i still dun give a shit.
Why must i give a shit to things i don like?
Hello not like i don have a choice pls.

AH.
Now cause of tht!
I have no mood alrd.

-

& i really hope you still want me the way i want you.

Dont stay.

2007-05-16T03:28:00.001-07:00

Woke up exactly on time today.
Felt like i din even sleep the whole night.
Oh well nth new.
Happily went to sch.
Haha.
Surprising nth fucked happened.
Well got bit high durin reflection.
All cause of gan and bren.
They are super hilarious ppl.
Yea same for break went high like mad.
Yea then during REW
the person kept calling me psychologist and kinda got me mad
cause sounds a bit weird.
I mean aiyerr heck tht mans.
Yep i feel im back to myself these days.

Got back math results today.
Oh well thought i wld fail totally din expect wht i got.
Buta yea.Im glad.
Oh well for chem Mrs teo gave us like high hopes
on our results.
But im still kinda scared.
Its either i did very badly or very well.
It has to be extreme.
I dunno but i just feel it.
So yea.
Me and gan got high cause of the horny bitch
Rachel tan i tell u.
Tht moron act did something really sick and
horny.
Don wish to elaborate.
Yea then we brought our RED pillow for
a walk to the toilet.
And just found out tht some of the A2
ppl can be really sick.
OMG.
Terrible.
LOL.
Well i guess its just the
after exams thing.
Like the whole row of classes act went wild today.

HMM.Then after sch serangoon macs-ed w lh and gan.
Omg.Like after a looooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg
llllllllooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggg
time mans serangn macs.
HeH.
Yea guess we decided to give ourselves a treat.
There were this bunch of rowdy boys
shouting vulgarities across the area la.
Cmon mans ppl eating they go "cheebye".
No brains sia.
Act yea they have no brains or rather low IQ.
AHBENGS(if thts how u spell it)
Yeah then went hme.
BEFORE 5.
Im so proud of myself.
Im really proud of myself these days(;

gtg bye.

IM OVER IT.

u don understand.

2007-05-15T03:32:00.000-07:00

SCH SCH SCH.
Aiyerr
kinda sick of it.HMMS.
Well erm exams are over.
Im very glad though i don sound as glad.
Stayed back in sch wif the naughty but lovable person.
We jus talked bout many many things.
HAH.
Things which only the both of us know.
I dunno but i feel better talking bout it.
Yep yep.
Past few days..
oh yeaa
ystd i tell u had loads of fun at Cass hse.
First we watched some korean horror movie
then THE EXORCIST.
HAH.
Then lastly the scary movie.
I tell u laughed like maad haha.
Its super hilarious esp the starting.
What do cows say?
its three letters..
"dude!"
Lol.
DUMB ASSHOLES i tell u.
HAHA.
Yea then left bout 7.
gOSH once reach hme.
Back to hell.
She is jus somd contradicting muthafucka.
I can stand it no more.
Its too muchh alrd.
I think its time i TALK to her.
Its terrible.
The whole suspecting shit stinks.
For hell's sake stop it.
Shes damn bloody fcuked up.
Fucking feel like running out of this fuccckkkinnng place now okay.
I just had to emphasize on tht word as im saying it out loud now.
DAMNIT.
She just called.
Shes heaading hme.
daaaamnit.
Frustrating.
Okkay.
I realise im a bit a bit a bit
lost in something lately.
A BIT.
Okay drop tht.

Haiyeerrr.
I still think u suck.
Damn u lar bitch.
I don like u laaa.
Freaking shitass,
shithole,
shitsuckerr
anything tht has to do w shit!
YOU SHITTY PERSON.
I stayed back cause of my bitch
and not because of u okay.
LOSER.
HAHA.
I dunno but scolding u makes me happy.
Ok shit.
This does not mean anything.
Its jus some usual crap.
You typa low mentality ppl wont understand.
SO STOP
BEFORE I ATTACK!

look me in the eye and promise u wont do me the same.

the way it used to be...

2007-05-11T03:45:00.000-07:00

Should i be glad tht Lit is over or
be worried tht Math and Chem is not over?
Well i guess i will go for the sec one.
Cause yea im obviously worried for the two subs.
I really wanna pass Math badly.
And atleast score and b3 for Chem.
Cause i gotta do well and make myself happy.
Cause recently i have been very disappointed w myself.
In the area of friendship i think i suck.
I just cant handle it properly.
Im sorry to all those i hurt or am hurting right now.
If im hated for the way i am thts too bad and certainly cant
be helped.
But if im hated to something i did wrong,now thts bit fcuked.
WORST.Hated for something i din do or rather mistaken for doing,
thts the most fcuked ever.
I dunno why im saying these but i just cant forget certain things.
Its like a point of time u love
this person so much.
Then u hate them and crush them upside down like
shit.
And then u love them again.
Then it all starts over again.
Im speaking bout friendship here aight.
Not whtever u think it is.
Yea its like
now when i talk to them,
i feel like im hurting inside like shit.
Cause once u were part of their life and u
knew wht was gg on in their live.
But now u certainly dont.
Worst u are not even part of their life.
Now i wonder wht did all tht happen?
Happened for the gd or bad?
Good cause ive moved and found better ppl.
Or bad cause im still hanging on as a matter of fact.
I guess i shall not elaborate and think too much any further.

Lets talk bout today.
I was seriously pissed.
This goes to u aight.
I seriously dont like u like the way u think i do.
I was just playing a fool.
I wld not be so blind to act like u.
So dont u ever be so fcuked and have elephant skin
to think i wld act like u.
Or maybe the word u use "crush".
Whtever la ok.
Tht day ur bloody reaction was annoying.
Pls la laugh at wht LH did to u.
Wah piang.
FRUSTRATING!
Dumbass.
So if u act managed to find my blog and are reading this
and are feeling guilty,
I'VE HIT MY JACKPOT.

Lit was fine.
Was not too bad except tht i was practically writing super messy mans.
Cause i was rushing thru thanks to the first few mins of dreaming and
thinking od DUNNO WHAT!
Yea then went to bishan w LH ,J & C.
Went shopping for mother's day gift.
HAH.
But we ended up in PS.
And went to THE BODY SHOP.
And bought my mum this perfume.
Cass chose it haha.
But it was so nice tht i wanted to buy
but then din wanna be a naughty kid so got it for her.
Yea hope she likes it.
Laughed like shit at macs.
I tell u the guys beside our table were damn random
but HILARIOUS i tell u.
Damn bloody bunch of nerds who were
quite amusing.
HEH.
Yep then headed hme.

those times.
when things were diff.
when there was only happiness i exp.
u were there to brighten my day w ur smile.
i jus miss it all.

now.
this time.
where life seems worst than hell.
i dunno who to trust
and i ask myself wht is becoming of me each day.
am i true to myself?
or have i disappointed u?
i jus feel, feel the change.
wht wld u do if u were me?

only you..

2007-05-10T02:57:00.000-07:00

Thurs finally gym-ed w Bren.
And now my muscles are aching.
I like it.
Heh.
Alright am suppose to be studying for lit
like everyone else but hey,
whts there to study for lit except read the book.
Which i did.
Oh wells still, to be more confident am gna read the book
for the third time in the evening.

Aft sch had to lunch outside as mum was out.
Shopping for herself perhaps.
Heh.
Lunched w J, LH & C.
Tmr am gg Bishan to get her something.
Cause it think i gotta do it for all tht
she has done for me.
Omg.
Okay am getting abit too sentimental.
Yep yep.
Act suppose to be out w fly on sat for dinner,
just a little treat my dad wants to give my mum.
But we act cancelled it due to our exams on mon.
When i mean tests i mean it w the S, its no typo.
GOT LIKE WHEERTT,
MATH & CHEM on mon mans.
Gotta mug like never before.
Need to go ntuc ltr.
To go get my study pills.
haha.
Chocs tht is.

And yea.
Something hilariously sick happened today during eng.
Ms LTL.
OKAY.
Im so not saying it here:D
Gan joined us for eng today.
Haha i tell u we went high like craezzy.
I cldnt stop laughing.
Yep guess i was self-entertaining.

I opened up
she let me down.
I wont feel tht no more..

i thought i knew you..

2007-05-07T04:58:00.001-07:00

OHH.
Back to sch again!
Haha.
Too bad for haters:P
Got a warm huggy welcome frm HWEE MIN.
I LOVE YOU BABE(:
Yea then sch was exceptionally fine.
Went wild a bit.
Then aft sch.
Went to eat CHICKEN RICE w
Bren,Lh and Cass.
I love tht edible thing okay!
whoa.
its damn tasty and equally fattening aswell.
HAH.

Then Bren went to meet him.
Then the three of us needed some "air"
some break perhaps.
So we went to macs.
Had a sunday.
Then headed to AP.
Talked for a while.

OHHH OHH.
Before tht.
I had a stupid bet w Cass.
I ask her to go ask this ARAHH aka
the one with big hands as far as me and gan were concerned.
HEH.
SHH.
Cause i told her tht AR hands are damn big.
She denied.
So we had a bet, 5 bucks if Cass approaches her.
Guess wht my bloody bet was bloody wasteful la!
OMG.
She approached her mans.
Like wth.
Then she went like"this person wld give me 5 bucks
if u showed me ur hanD"
omg.
Just imagine ok.
She ofcourse smiled then opened her hands.
THERE WENT MY PRECIOUS 5 BUCKS.
HAHA.
NVM LA.
It jus goes to CASS.
No big deal haha.

Yea then ofcourse aft so much fun.
Shit happens.
Mum called and yea..
Had to rush hme.
Hopefully the prayers work!
And i hope my luck comes back to me(:

u dont know what you mean to me.

thanks for everything<3

2007-05-05T19:49:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUDDDER! :D

HAHA
My day started off fine for the first time!
Haha.
And im so not saying why HERE :P

Yea lotsa ppl comin over ltr.
Just a small gathering with my relatives.
Im looking forward to it cause this bunch of ppl are
nice :D
SO YAY!
HEH.
Most of all my little joyjuice is coming aswell.
OMG tht suugarrpie!
Haha this reminds me of xiao wei!
tmr is monday!
i love mondays .
I think im gna die very soon:(

she aint nth like the girl i used to know...

not just a nother day..

2007-05-04T01:08:00.000-07:00

if i played u like a toy?
sometimes i wish i cld act like a boy.

Woke up at 9 plus.
Got angry cause my motherr did not wake me up.
And i soo damn wanted to got to sch.
Cause i get to be myself in sch.
At hme i cant.
Each time i shout or scream when im high
they scold me.
Like wth?
They are the only ppl who dont like me being high.
Damnit.
Sometimes i love them a lot
sometimes i totally hate them.
I knw this sounds childish but i hate it.
Oh well drop tht.

Watched the exorcist tht i borrowed frm brenda.
Maybe cause i watched it in the morn thts why i was not thrilled at
all by it.
HAH.
But it was quite scary though for watching it in the morn.
Yea then Dad came back wiith cheesefries and popcorn chicken.
I went like whurrt.
Im alrd suffering cause i've not been doing sit-ups cause i hurt my back
terribly few days back CAUSE OF SIT-UPS.
I tell u i can swear tht i look 5mths pregnant right now.
And damn,
gym day yest was cancelled and postponed cause my back
was aching like crazy.
It was postponed to Fri.
But hey looks whos here using the comp when shes suppose to be out there
in the GYM.
urghh.
All thnks to her.
Oh wells but seriously i did have a gd rest at hme act.
Knwing tht Fri had tamil im 40% glad i din go to sch.

Oh and someone told me something abt someone.
And i tell u im damn frustrated.
Its like what the heck.
So damn terrible la.
Though shes not in the same class as me neither does she
act affect my life she was a gd friend of mine in pri sch.
And hell, now i totalley detest her .
Whts the point of being nice when u hate tht person?
Its like lying and cheating urself
which i consider reprehensible.

Oh wells i have a lot more to say but hey i don wanna waste my time.
Okkay might MIGHT be going out for dinner later.
I really don wanna go i prefer Fri nights at hme and Sat nights out.
But tht doesn't happen in my life.
Fri nights hme.Sat nights hme aswell.
Only sometimes Fri nights out.
And Sat nights spent at relative's place or some
stupid useless functions they hold which is better off
not holding in the first place.
I think i have gone thru most aspects of life.
I think thts really helpful cause when im stuck at a prob
i usually or most of the times act knw how to
get my butt outt of it.
Like now i know the pain of hurting my back and i swear
the next time i do sit-ups i will lay a mat or atleast a towel.
How silly of me, when i think of it now.
Yea.
The prob now and whts getting on me is the comp.
Caus eof some stupid virus my comp was re-boot.
Then all the pics, songs, files which contains memoies are GONE.
OMG.Its like damn hard pls.
Like the only memory im left with some ppl is gone.
Terrible .
The pain of losing someone is terrible and makes u feel
hopeless, hopeless to hope.
Here i am damn bloody bored listening to like a boy over and
over again.
HEH.
Dumb but cant stop.

Yea i wanna go do something which will make
me feel better. But
the only thing i can do is sleep.
But i guess tht will make me worst.
Cause i will start to think and think.
And trust me I DON WANT TO HAVE WHITE HAIR!
Ohh my!
I wanna go for a movie.
Just any movie i've got like 4 free GV ticks la.
I dun wanna jus waste it.
I dunno wht to say alrd.

you know whts funny?
seems like everytime i try to forget abt u
my feelings pull me back in
you see,
its crazy
cause i got somebody else
you got somebody else
but u and i both know,
tht it really is?
but still..
u know wht im saying?

come with me i'll show u the world.

PAIN

2007-05-03T01:09:00.000-07:00

THE WHOLE DAY.
ALL I SAID WAS "OUCH PAIN"
And sweared like a million times?
Oh well its all cause of everything tht goes on in sch.

In the morn
bloody discipline shit.
FHY caught me for my skirt.
Then i as usual talked back.
I told her it was long.
As a matter of fact IT IS.
I act took the trouble to go lengthen it and there she goes
"ur skirts too short"
wah piang.
First swear.
Then aft asseble S ask me stand.
Like in the middle of assembly pls.
Paiseh ah.
Shits.
I stood up she measured.
Then said ok and walked off.
THIRD TIME!
ML came up to me and told me tht somebody wants to check my skirt.
My heart skipped a bloody beat and then resumed beating when i came to know
XY wants to check my skirt.
I went up to her.
She check and said "its okay what"
WHOA!
Waste my time sia.
I tell u got damn fed up with HY la.
wah she blind is it?
Alrd got four eyes still blind.
Shit-sucker.
Then i saw her face haha.
She was damn maluated pls.
Oh act tht made me SMILE.
HEH.
Yes then it was all the way
my complain abt my bloody back.
It was hurting like shit.
Yea thts bout it.
Frm now on im gna F less.
I think its not gd to swear and curse too much.

Now im hme!
Damn urghh!
ANGRY.
She is a female dog.
Which can never slp in peace without barking at me.
Reddddy fish!
Oh goshhh.
IS HEAVEN SERIOUSLY HEAVENLY?
CAUSE MY HELL IS SERIOUSLY A HELL.

SOMEONE WORTH DYING FOR?

a better day?

2007-05-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

will u welcome this confession?

School was fine as usual.
Except my fcuking back which is hurting like shit.
Oh wells sch well decided to join REW or whtever tht is lar huh.
Yea got myself high.
Omg i was like entertaining myself la.
Then tht woman whtever her name is told me tht chocs make ppl high.
Like as if i look like some gundu to her.
"huh?huh?really it daaaass?"
PLS LA I KNOW OKAY!
I KNOW CHOCS MAKES US HIGH!
Like hell, thts why i eat it everyday otherwise i will
be dead by now.
Yes then had lit.
After lit i act was like huh lit was over meh?
Cause lit was like free period laa.
OMG,
We were just scribbling on papers all the fcuked up
poems?
lyrics?
act both combine.
HEH.
Yea aft lit was break.
liKE AGAIN LA.
We jus had our break like the first period.
No wonder i've put on 5 kg.
OMG.
SHHH.
Yea ok.
Cause yest when i went to the hosp.
The nurse weighed me.
Then my weight was like ____
then she went like whoa not bad ur just nice.
JUST NICE?
EXCUSE ME,JUST NICE?
I WAS LIKE WTF WAS SHE TRYINA SAY LA.
SACARSTIC SHIT.
I WANTED TO BANG HER FACE AGAINST THE WALL LA.
SUCH ASSHOLE NURSES!
Then when she was like telling me stuff like not to hurt my back and so on.
I cldnt be bothered ans stared blankly.
Wht shit mans.
Next time im nvr gna weigh till im thin.
Shitass.
I hate it when ppl say im not fat.
I hate it even more when they say im fat,
so jus simply don say anything? haah.
YEAH DO THAT.

AFT SCH.

Macs-ed with Lh,Jovee and Casss.
Yea initially when we stepped in some fcuked up ppl gave
us the effed up look cause they're simply miserable
Oh well but neverthless we got ourselves high.
Casss was being a pain in my ass.
She was throwing fries into my pinafore la.
wth.
Then she stopped.
Then we headed to AP.
But then it was raining then charls cld not get her bandage wet.
So we went to the most popular and well-liked by the four of us place,POPULAR.
Over there wht else looked at cards files and then walked around HL.
Then wanted to go AP still so walked there is was slightly drizzling but heck.
We went there had a litle fun then took 112 .
As in all of us.
Then Jovee and LH alighted then i alighted with Cass then she was like
saying byebye to me la.
I tell u i felt like a lost kid.
Then luckily she said to take 82 cause it goes to s'gn.
Oh gosh .
Terrible i tell u.
MOron mans.
Yep then long ride hme.
not very long but long(:
Now im hme.
Thinnking bout LOADS of stuff.
Feel like a depressed and lonely soul.
I NEED U B&J CHOS FUDGE BROWNIE!
OHHHHhhhhhh....
AHHHHhhhhhh....
GOOODDD PLS SAVE ME!
Pls make by back better!
COMMON TEST is like NXT WEEK!
AND I FEEL FUCKED!
I CANT SIT PROPERLY HOW TO STUDY?
DAMNNIT.

Oh and yea got back Chem results.
Man im pleased with it la.
I din screw it for once?
HEH.
Atleast im better than some asshole who got 24 and was
saying"omg my mother's gna kill me!just on more mark!"
ASK UR MUM GO FCUK U LA.
Oh well who cares.
SO LONG AS IM HAPPY(:

OHH AND YEA GYM-DAY TMR WITH BRENDAAAR(:
FINALLY MANS.

today was a much better day!
yay!
hoho.
till i reached hme tht is.
I dunno how to tell u this.
And im not gna try.
I hate making the first godamn move.
u know tht.
so pls stop appearing in front of me.
I've got someone else better.
AND I'VE MOVED ON.

when it comes to the truth..

2007-04-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

Telling me you're seeing some other girl
showing me her photograph
And all the feelings tht i thought were gone
came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way i felt
But i was thinking to myself..
truth is i never got over you
truth is i wish i was standing in her shoes.
truth is and when its all said and done
guess im still in love with you..

SCH?

Sch was crazy!
Esp Math.
"IM THE ONE WHO DWELLS WITHIN CAIN!"
OMG.
Terrible high period.
And then when Ms Hwang appoached
Cass as she was damn scary cos she was high
we cld see tht MS H was trying not to laugh la.
LOL.
Wah terrible.
Yea aft sch went Hougang Mall with Chang
ate KFC.
She tried the cheese melts thing
surprisingly it was gd.
yall shld go try!
Haha.
Yea thts bout it..

and i nvr shld have let you go...
seeing u it kills me now..

2007-04-29T08:49:00.000-07:00

I just finished doing my Lit assignment.
My arms hurt mans.
I was carrying dumbell while i was bored the whole day.
HAH.
Idiotic la but who cares.
I feel "muscle-less"
too flabby.
Too much choc for the past few days arld.
Too much!!!
Gotta cut down.
Cause its hard to avoid.
Super hard i swear.
OKAY I WANNAA SLEEP ALRD.
iM EXAUSTED!

NIGHT LOVES
NIGHT WORLD:D

i hate this

2007-04-29T04:37:00.000-07:00

Fri.

Sch was damnit boring lar.Dunno why.
Yea lotsa things happened as usual.
Just felt bit weird the whole day.
But hey nth new.
Cause i've been feeling this way for the past few weeks?
HMMM..
Okay i finally turned up for Np after dunno how
many weeks!!
No wonder it was raining so bad.
Werid things happened during Np.
Sec three ma'ams.
Oh well not a bad start i'd say.
HAH.
yea then met LH and went for dinner.
Then headed hme arnd 8 plus.
Went hme!
Started screaming.
Cause parents were not hme and i heard
they were at causeway point.
Gosh best.
Slacked and did all soorta things i do
when im alone at hme
OKAY I HAVE BEEN MSGING A LOT!
ESP GANNEY LATELY!
my freaking bill is like
200 plus la.
My dad said our family bill for two months is 1000 bucks!
And i went omfg!
This is too much.
I can buy sooo many things with that sum pls!
YEA.
SO I GOT TO CUT DOWN.
So dun blame me if i choose not reply to ur msg.
:D
Okay.

SAT.

Had tution in the afternoon.
During tution i received many msges.
Of all times during tution la.
Goodness.
She got fed up tht she for the first time got angry with
me and said" can u pls turn tht shit off"
And i went like"whurrrt"
Yea it was fun as usual.
She rawks la.
Hey hey tht does not mean we play a FOOL
during tution but yea.
We start talking bout sch talk bout girls and so on.
We even share the same experiences regarding certain stuff.
Thts why i always look forward for tution.
After tution i will be like fucked up as ever.
Then had to go for some shit
fly function.
I tell u i hate those ppl okay!
THEY ALL SHLD GO SUCK SSHIT LA.
Go there they will give me the face.
I tell u i cant stand it.
Yea then left tht place like wht at 12?
can die pls.
But its a miracle i survived cause of GANNEY
who kept me company:)

SUN.

Can i say something?
SUNDAY SUCKS!
It simply sucks i dunno why!
I had emotional breakdowns in the morning.
Till ritter sport dark choc w hazelnut SAVED my life!
I duuno i jus cried like some shit in the toilet.
Without sound okay.
Imagine.
Suffered like anything.
ANW.
CANT wait for tmr.
thts it!!

oh can my bitch pls go back to work!urghhhhh

fight for a right to love yeah..

hell

2007-04-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

This week this is the fifth time i walked out
of my home slamming the gate behind me.
Like wht the heck!
Cmon mans she gotta be crazy.
Nagging knowing it wld end off with a fight
like wht so damn bloody early in the morn pls.
6 is DAMNIT EARLY.
Its like im not even awake completely yet.
Wonder where shes gets those energy from.
Shits la.
Gosh a lotto vent but maybe too personal here.
Oh well so lets talk bout sch.

Sch can be fucked at times aswell!
But compared to hme!
Million times better
it like chosing btwn mcflurry and sunday.
I wld choose sunday!
Cause duh it has fudgee!
SO yea.
Gosh wht am i saying?
Rubbish mans.
Today was boring but fine.
I dun wanna comment on the bloody earth day crap.
CAUSE ITS CRAP.
Tmr got the kaleidoscope thing.
As usual am not gg cmon i don attend sch functions or concerts!
HAH.
Unless im a bit off at tht point of time la.
Life is far more complicated then i though it wld be!
gdnass!
I got to make choices like everyday!
Like for every single thing once i awake in the more.
like..
wht time to wake up?
how long to bath?
shld eat breakfast or not?
keep my mouth shut
and not say anything when she nags
or yelll back
or just ignore
or be nice to her.
Gosh too many things right?
IMAGINE.
Just frm 6 to 6 40.
Nonsense i tell you.
But hell, thts why i face every morn.
But im still alive.
What a miracle.

okok!!
i wanna take my "night bath"
then head to bed.

NIGHT PPL<3!

CUTE SHIT!

got every right.

2007-04-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

I've had enough.
Enough of me doing such stuff to myself alrd.
So i shall stop.
STOP HERE.
I really dont care about whatever that has happened.
I only care bout whats gna happen next.
HAH.
Now i know where im heading at last!
And im not gna let anything anyone!
pull me down.

there's nothing left anyway..
-NIGHT WORLD
NIGHT<3

psycho!

2007-04-26T01:27:00.000-07:00

Okay today she confirmed with me again if
i was L?
wth
pls leave me alone!
IM INNOCENT for heaven's sake!
im not b im n.
HAH.
Go find out wht tht is.
Sch during break we were HIGH MACHINES!
cause this two HILARIOUS ppl
sec threes okay!
yea they were chasing like soome young idiotic
kids in the canteen
then guess wht!
one of the girls hit the dust bin or chair then fell down!!!
lol
cant tahan
They made us laugh like shit can!
Haha
yea the rest i blog later.
now i gtg

-bye

YOU GO SUCK SHIT!

DUMB DAY

2007-04-25T05:11:00.000-07:00

IM DUMB.
Studied chem like mad but after she said pens down
alrd spotted a small bloody shitted mistake!
urgh.
Oh well heck it.

Many hilarious things happen in sch.
But when i get hme i just forget!
urghh
frustrating mans frustrating!!!
missed xw today cause she went for guzheng and heard they got GOLD
WHOA!
CONGRATS!
HOHO.

What would u do when the one who'll make u stop
crying was the one tht made u cry?

-BYE

cause i got u?

2007-04-24T05:34:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh sch was fine.
First period was home ed pract.
OMG, i tell u my mac and cheese was a disaster pls!
TOO MUCH CHEESE!
I can swear tht i will nvr touch cheese anymore.
Just sick of it now.
Wht else after sch had public speaking course
pls la i dun think i have to attend it.
But i did for wht i dunno but i did.
Yea then went kfc with charlae yea then headed hme..
OOO..tiredd siaa
suppose to be studying for Chem but
im tht kind whos brain works better aft 12 so yeah.
Haha im like addicted to Emily Rose pls.
1 2 3 4 5 6
1 2 3 4 5 6
im the one who dwells with cain!!
lol.
ok
thts it.

all i knw is tht she'll nvr love u like i do..

strange/anything but ordinary

yes you

fuck it is

You probably always,have a spell on me.

If im the star,she is the sky.

I hate how much i love you girl,

You got me feeling like a child now,

yes u suck.

yes i am a frog:D

You got me on my knees,

I smile you say i,okay.

CAMWHOREEEE(:

Yes you do,

what if i say, now?

It ends now.

its back to you now,

HELLO

Its real love that you dont know about

(:

I dont want the world to see me,

cause ur the fucking love_|_

city of angels.

OOPS

SWEETS

I just want u to know who i am 2007-09-02T00:08:00.000-07:00 YES LUH BESTEST DONE LUH THE UPLOADS!!u missed it love<3

lips of an angel

Born dumb.

my gingerbread woman!

my gingerbread woman!

we're back at it again

streesssss!

lets cry together

dejavu

for all the things u've done.

Deep in my heart.

try being me.

i need it when i want it ,i want it when i dont

Make you wanna say my name girl,

picss

Hilarious shitss.

I adore you,totally.

Sweetest touch.

what now?

Life,why are u being such an asshole?

goodbye my lover,goodbye my friend.

lost in my world

YOU?

y did u fake that smile?

i thought i knew you..

unspoken words

you dont know me.

Back to the usual routine

when letting go is the hardest

its something u nvr knew abt..

I've tried my best to let go.

So much i can't say.

crapper,idiot?

This feelin's takin' control of me..

just hanging by a moment.

its all the same

damn this alright.

nope.

i need to get arnd it.

stupid me.

its been too long.

somehow sometimes..

insideout

tell myself i'll stop everyday,knowing tht i wont.

but u didnt wait did u?

im craving for..

Red eyes.

Dont stay.

u don understand.

the way it used to be...

only you..

i thought i knew you..

not just a nother day..

PAIN

a better day?

when it comes to the truth..

I just want u to know who i am
2007-09-02T00:08:00.000-07:00
YES LUH BESTEST DONE LUH THE UPLOADS!!

u missed it love<3